


100 (And Change)

by kathkin



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: (fancy kilt is in chapters 16 33 42 and 54), (zoe/isobel is in chapter 50), Drabble, F/F, M/M, Mostly silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-28 06:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 103
Words: 31,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6317737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Team Two drabble assortment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified (Two/Jamie)

**Author's Note:**

> Assorted drabbles for various prompt posts on tumblr: [one](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/141387654793/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you) [two](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/141654313268/prompt-set-735) [three](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/143603879488/54-writing-prompts) [four](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/143744375368/prompt-set-773) [five](http://alloftheprompts.tumblr.com/post/144096678294/prompt-set-781) [six](http://alloftheprompts.tumblr.com/post/143978871493/prompt-set-778) [seven](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/146274714438/five-word-prompts) [eight](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/148939602793/send-me-characters-and-a-letter-and-ill-write) [nine](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/148554015973/torture-my-character-sentence-meme) [ten](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/151201545783/autumn-fic-meme) [eleven](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/152217402293/send-me-a-pairing-a-number) [twelve](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/153103161388/otp-quotes-challenge) [thirteen](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/154712163708/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you) [fourteen](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/155866647108/musingsource-cuddly-platonic-ish-memes-your) [fifteen](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/156214007208/basic-angst-starters) [sixteen](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/159315028418/sentence-prompts) [seventeen](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/161787425303/prompt-list%20) [eighteen](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/166387378193/peekbelowthesurface-send-me-a-number-and-two) [nineteen](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/169149950388/50-dialogue-prompts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](keatulie.tumblr.com).

_I think I’m in love with you_

Jamie’s laugh, the first time he hears it, makes him feel warm inside, sweet and catching, and he’s laughing too.

_Think I’m in love with you_

Jamie’s eyes, gazing at an alien night sky. The way they light up, his pure, infectious joy and curiosity as he points at the stars and asks their names.

_I’m in love with you_

He’s been in love before but not for so long, and Jamie’s so human. In a hundred years – he tells himself it wouldn’t be worth it and almost believes it.

_And I’m terrified._


	2. Wait a minute. Are you jealous? (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [queen-beastie](queen-beastie.tumblr.com).

“Wait a minute. Are ye jealous?”

“Jealous? Oh, good gracious, no. Whatever gave you that impression?”

“Ye keep makin’ this face.” Jamie puts on a hang-dog expression that the Doctor’s certain he’s never made in his life. 

“I am not,” he busies himself with his chronon-detector, “ _jealous_. The very idea. Just because you’d rather spend your afternoon with some girl you’ve just met than –”

“Go and poke around some boring old ruins with you?” Jamie has his arms folded and one eyebrow raised and his whole demeanour is positively infuriating. He glances over his shoulder at the girl and says, “aye, well. Now that I think of it, maybe I’d rather come look at the ruins.”

The Doctor looks up.

“Since it’s important and all,” Jamie clarifies.

His eyes have gone all soft, and the Doctor fumbles with his gadget. “Well,” he says, “no time like the present, eh?”


	3. Come over here and make me (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com).

“Come over here and make me.”

The Doctor willed himself not to look. He’d brought this on himself. He’d gone and said _oh shut up, Jamie_ , knowing perfectly well what Jamie would say to _that_.

There was a swishing behind him, skin moving on silky sheets.

“Jamie, this is very important. If I’m not at least somewhat proficient in, ah, Ardanian legal procedures by–”

“It’s too hot for readin’.”

“Then it’s certainly too hot for what _you’re_ proposing.”

“I’m no’ proposin’ anything,” Jamie said. “Just come over here, aye?”

Against his better judgement, the Doctor looked at the bed.


	4. It's not what it looks like... (Two/Jamie, Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“It’s not what it looks like…” 

Underneath him, Jamie said, “oh, Lordy.”

Zoe cocked her head. “So what exactly _is_ it, then? Because –”

“Ah, callisthenics.”

Jamie scrabbled for the sheets.

“Callisthenics?” 

“Bedside callisthenics,” said the Doctor. “All the rage in Alpha Centauri.”

“ _Naked_ bedside callisthenics?”

“Oh, Lord God in heaven.” Jamie dragged a pillow over his burning face.

“It’s, ah, healthier, to, ah – good for the muscles. To, ah. Exercise naked.”

“Right.” Zoe nodded. “Well, you enjoy your, um, _naked bedside callisthenics_.” The door closed with a _snick_.

“What’s calli-sthenics?” said Jamie from behind his pillow.

“I’ll explain later.”


	5. Hey! I was gonna eat that! (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com).

“I _was_ going to eat that.”

“It was meltin’,” said Jamie, mouth full of ice cream. He wiped a streak of chocolate off his chin.

“You could have called me over.” The Doctor looked ruefully at the dribble of ice cream at the bottom of his dish.

He supposed it was his own fault for getting distracted – but it was supposed to be the best ice cream on the planet and dash it all if he wasn’t clean out of local currency.

Well, there was still _one_ way he could have a taste. He took Jamie by the ears and kissed him. Jamie made a surprised noise – and when the Doctor licked into his mouth he moaned. Oh, yes. That _was_ worth travelling across half the galaxy.

When he pulled back, Jamie blinked at him and said quietly, “people are lookin’, Doctor.”

“Let them look.” The Doctor kissed him again.


	6. You heard me. Take. It. Off. (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“Oh, must I?” The Doctor twirled, kilt swirling vibrant red around his legs. “I thought I looked rather dashing.”

“Ye look daft.” Jamie folded his arms. He was wearing his shirt and socks and not much else and he wasn’t in the mood to argue. “And you’re no’ wearin’ it right. And it’s _mine_.”

That said, there was something… _interesting_ about seeing the Doctor in his clothes. Something intriguing. Something that made him want to rip that kilt clean off.

The Doctor struck a pose before the mirror. “I’m sure I’ve, ah, got a hat to go with it…”

“Ach, that’s it. C’mere.” Stomping over, Jamie unfastened the kilt pin and gave his plaid a good tug.

“Oh, dear.” The Doctor twisted his fingers together. “Have I been naughty?”

“Aye, and you’re gonnae pay for it.” Jamie tossed the kilt aside. “Turn around, now.”


	7. I'm just fine (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [jawnnwatson](http://jawnnwatson.tumblr.com).

“I’m just fine.” Jamie swatted the Doctor away with his free hand. “Stop _fussin_ ’.” His other hand pressed a wadded-up handkerchief tightly to his forehead, sopping up the blood.

“You aren’t fine.” The Doctor pawed at him, clutching at his head. Jamie squirmed. “You might be concussed.” He peered at Jamie’s eyes, and tutted.

“I’m no’,” said Jamie. “I’ll be fine, after I have a wee sleep.” His eyelids were so heavy – if he could just put his head on a pillow – or on that table over there –

“Oh, no no no no.” The Doctor held him upright, patting at his face. “Don’t go to sleep. Jamie. You have a concussion.”

Squinting up at him, Jamie wondered why the Doctor was talking about musical instruments. “I dinnae. I’m a piper.”

“What? No, no, _con_ cussion, not _per_ cussion.”

“Eh?” His head was so muddy. If he could only think straight, he could tell the Doctor there was nothing to worry about.

“Oh, look,” plopping himself down on the bench, the Doctor threw an arm around Jamie’s shoulders. “Just stay with me, now, and don’t go to sleep. Eh?”

“Aye,” said Jamie, too muzzy to argue any further.

Soft and gentle, the Doctor’s hands pried the handkerchief away from his bloodied forehead, replacing it with a cooling salve and a proper bandage, all the while keeping up a happy chirrup of conversation; and Jamie relaxed, let himself be gentled, let himself be held.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The CONcussion/PERcussion confusion is an actual muddle I had as a child. (I was four, what's Jamie's excuse?)


	8. Process what you said (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com/).

“Process what ye just said.”

“I said, I redirected the radioactive magma flow into the old underground storage vaults,” said the Doctor. “Hasn’t been used in years and it’s all lead-lined. Very tidy, if I do say so myself.” He clapped his hands together and beamed at Jamie, feeling thoroughly pleased with his day’s work.

“The old storage vault?” Jamie repeated.

“Yes.” The Doctor rubbed his hands together gleefully.

“You mean, that place where we left the TARDIS?”

The Doctor’s hands stilled. “The TARDIS?”

“Aye, the TARDIS where Zoe is?”

“Zoe.” He stared at Jamie, his mind flatly refused to comprehend what he had gone and done. At length, his eyes widened. “Oh, my word! Zoe!” Almost tripping over his own feet in his haste, he barrelled away down the corridor, Jamie’s footsteps echoing in his wake.


	9. I need something purple (Two + Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com).
> 
> (And yes I know Zoe's jumpsuit was grey, not purple, yadda yadda yadda, but I couldn't resist!)

“I need something purple!” 

“Excuse me?” Zoe blinked up at him. She’d been sitting quietly, minding her own business, when he’d tumbled into the library all a-fluster, demanding purple things – oh. Zoe had a split second to register what she was wearing and that _she_ was the ‘something purple’ the Doctor so inexplicably needed before –

“There’s no time to lose!” Snatching up Zoe’s hand, he dragged her out of her comfortable chair. 

“What –”

“I’ll explain later!” he said over his shoulder, towing her out of the library. “Something purple! Right away!”

Utterly bewildered, Zoe resigned herself to the inevitable.


	10. Can I kiss you? (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [jawnnwatson](jawnnwatson.tumblr.com).

“Can I kiss you?”

“Eh?”

“Can I kiss you?” the Doctor said, his arms draped comfortably about Jamie’s neck.

“Och, do you really need to ask?”

“Hm?” They were swaying gently, in time with the faraway music of the celebrations. The gardens were dusky, the light from the sparkling flowers blueish.

“After all this time?”

“Is that a yes?”

“Aye. Course it’s a yes.”

The Doctor kissed him, soft, barely more than a peck. “Mm. Can I kiss you again?”

“Aye, go on.”

Another kiss, this one a fraction longer, sweeter. “Can I kiss you properly?” said the Doctor, their noses brushing together.

“No.”

“No?”

“Cause I’m gonnae kiss you first.” Jamie cupped a hand around the back of the Doctor’s neck – and kissed him.


	11. You're So Drunk (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/).

“You’re so drunk.”

“ _You’re_ so drunk,” said Jamie, big hands pawing at the Doctor’s coat like he was trying to climb inside.

“I think that would be, ah, unlikely to the point of impossibility.” The Doctor tried, as gently as possible, to wriggle out of Jamie’s grip.

“ _You’re_ unlikely to the point of impossimpability,” Jamie slurred.

“It, ah, has been noted.” Jamie giggled and slumped onto him heavily, almost pushing him over. With a sigh and a fond roll of his eyes, the Doctor resigned himself. So long as Jamie wasn’t after more than a little drunken cuddling, it would probably be, ah –

Jamie’s hand, roaming up and down his back, drifted onto his bottom, and he squeaked aloud. “Jamie!”

“Aye?” He tried to push Jamie away – and Jamie drew back, blinked at him in the semi-darkness – and kissed him.

Well – tried to. He sort of fell forward, smushing their mouths together, sloppy and barely co-ordinated, but shivers ran up and down the Doctor’s spine at the sudden, intimate contact.

“ _Mmph_.” Gently, as if he were an over-enthusiastic puppy, he pushed Jamie away. “Jamie. You’re _very_ drunk.

“Hmm?” Jamie scrubbed a hand over his mouth, looking bewildered at what he’d done.

“Come on,” the Doctor sighed, “let’s get you to bed.” He heaved Jamie’s arm over his shoulder and guided him to the stairs, saying, “hmm?” and, “oh, yes?” every few steps in response to Jamie’s drunken Scots babble.

In the bedroom, Jamie clutched at him, mumbling thanks.

“Oh, any time.” The Doctor patted Jamie’s shoulder. “You sleep it off, now.”

“Mmm.” Jamie sank down onto the bed. “Good-night.” And, softly, kissed the corner of the Doctor’s mouth. “Love you.”

The Doctor looked down at Jamie, already fast asleep on the bed, and wondered if he’d remember this come morning.


	12. I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com).

“I waxed the floors!”

“Eh?” Jamie jolted upright in his armchair, trying to look like he hadn’t been napping.

“Quickly!” cried the Doctor. “Grab your fluffy socks!” He took Jamie’s arm and tumbled him out of his chair.

“I dinnae have fluffy socks!”

“Then you shall have to borrow mine!” The Doctor’s sock-clad feet skidded as he towed Jamie out into the corridor. “There’s, ah, no time to lose!”

“But where are we _goin_ ’?” Jamie scrubbed a hand over his eyes.

“To the ballroom!” 

“…You’ve a ballroom?”

And so he did, a vast, glistening expanse of freshly-waxed wood, surrounded by glass and gilt mouldings that had seen better days. The Doctor stood by the doors, grinning and rocking on his heels, his arms spread wide. “It took me all night!”

“Is _that_ where you were?”

“Watch this!” The Doctor tugged up the legs of his trousers – took a few steps back – and with a cry of, “wheeeeee!” he flung himself out onto the floor, skidding and sliding like a deer on ice out, out into the centre of the ballroom – where he turned a neat circle –

– And went down in a tangle of limbs. He hit the floor with a _thud_ , and an, “ow,” and an, “ _oww_ ,” and painful as it looked, Jamie couldn’t help but chuckle as he slithered over.

“Owww,” said the Doctor. “ _Jaaaamie_.”

“C’mon.” Jamie heaved him upright. “Up ye come, _leannan_.”

The Doctor stood – dusted himself off – clapped his hands – beamed at Jamie. “Your turn, now!”


	13. I think you might be pregnant (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“I think you might be pregnant,” said the Xionidian doctor.

Jamie almost choked. “ _What_?”

“Pregnant,” the Xionidian doctor – who had a name, but Jamie couldn’t get his mouth around it – in a tone that was probably meant to be gentle. “You have all the symptoms of human pregnancy.”

“Aye, but – I cannae be –”

“Are you sexually active?” The Xionidian doctor flicked through Jamie’s file with one of his – her – _their_ many fingers.

“Well – aye – but –”

“So you _could_ be pregnant?”

“No!” Jamie snapped.

The doctor’s pinkish eyes flicked open and shut in a sequence that probably meant something exasperated. “Can you be sure?”

Jamie breathed in deeply through his noses. “I dinnae have anything to be pregnant _with_.”

“Pardon?”

“I dinnae have the – the _bits_.” Jamie gestured vainly at his groin.

“But I thought –” The Xionidian doctor studied the chart. They took a long, hard look at Jamie, eyes squinting. “You – you are a _female_ human, aren’t you?”

“What? No, I’m not!”

“But you’re dressed like –”

At that, Jamie thought his blood might just boil. “The _hell_ I am –”

Fortunately, the Doctor blundered into the room and saved him from starting a fistfight with someone with eight fists. “What’s all this noise?”

“He says I’m pregnant!” Jamie pointed an accusing finger at the Xionidian.

“Pregnant?” said the Doctor, astounded. He snatched Jamie’s chart and swiped through it. His eyes grew steadily wider. “What on earth –”

“Well, if she _will_ go around in a dress –”

“I’m a he!” said Jamie. “And it’s no’ a dress, ye –”

“ _Where_ did you say you studied human anatomy, again?” said the Doctor.

The Xionidian’s eyes flickered uncomfortably. “Um, ah – I – we –”

The Doctor bopped them on their left head with the chart. “Stomach flu! I asked if you could treat _stomach flu_!”

The Xionidian doctor looked again at the chart – and at Jamie. “There isn’t the _slightest_ chance –”

“No!” the Doctor and Jamie chorused.

Half an hour later, as they were climbing down the clinic steps, freshly dispensed medicine in hand, the Doctor nudged Jamie lightly and said, “pity, eh?”

“Pity?”

“I shall put off knitting booties, shall I?”

“Och, ye – don’t start! Don’t you _dare_!” Jamie wagged a finger at him.

“Maybe in a few years,” said the Doctor with a sigh.


	14. You look incredible in that (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback).

“You look incredible in that,” Jamie chuckled.

“Oh, do you think so?” The Doctor twirled his skirt and adjusted his floppy hat. “I thought it might be a bit much, but Shasti here assures me I am the _height_ of fashion.”

“He’s going out on the town!” chipped in Shasti.

“Aye, well, you look lovely.” 

“Oh, splendid!” The Doctor clapped his gloved hands. “Let’s get you dressed up, eh?”

“Oh, no, no –” Waving his hands, Jamie backed away.

“I’ll get the make-up box!” cried Shasti and ran deeper into the wardrobe.

“Really, I –” Jamie pleaded.

“Nonsense,” said the Doctor. “I shall need a dance partner, shan’t I?”

“You’re no’ goin’ out on the town.” There was no _town_ to go to – they were at the less interesting end of a time corridor, and really, of all the places to end up babysitting a six-year-old! “There’s no’ gonnae be dancin’!”

“Who says?” The Doctor plucked a feather boa from its hanger and looped it around Jamie’s neck, reeling him in. “Pink really is your colour.”

“But –”

“ _And_ I promised Shasti I’d teach her how to Charleston.”

“How to _what_ –”

Before he could protest any further, Shasti scampered back clutching a plastic box and a stool. “Sit down!” she declared in the commanding manner unique to small children. “I’m going to do your lipstick!”

Resigned, Jamie sat. He could hardly say no. She was such a sweet little thing. “Are you gonnae make me pretty?” 

“Yes – so so pretty!”

“How’s about this?” The Doctor selected a ruffled dress from the rack. “Eh, Jamie?”

Shasti clapped her hands. “That’s _perfect_!”

“Erm –”

“Hold _still_!” she barked. “Lipstick!”

The Doctor plopped a hat on Jamie’s head, and Jamie duly held still. “You’d better make me _very_ pretty,” he warned.


	15. We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com).

“Do you know what this means?”

“Eh?”

“We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about.”

“I dinnae _complain_ about newlyweds –”

“No, but you make this face.” The Doctor pulled a face. Jamie snorted out a laugh and wrapped his arms more tightly around him. 

Alright, so maybe they _were_ being a little clingy, but he was so glad to finally be alone. The wedding party the locals had thrown them had been fun, but there was only so much noise and drumming and dancing a man could take. He’d been itching to be alone with the Doctor for hours.

With a jolt, he realised this was their wedding night.

“Anyway,” he said. “You said yourself – we’re no’ really married.”

“Aren’t we?”

“Only for this week, ye said.”

“Oh?” The Doctor’s face drooped. “Does that mean it isn’t real?”

“Well –”

“Does that mean we don’t get a honeymoon?”

Jamie laughed, ducking his head into the Doctor’s shoulder. Their wedding necklaces bumped together. “No.”

“No we don’t get one or no we _don’t_ don’t get one?”

“No, we dinnae get one.” Jamie straightened up. “Because –”

“Oh no, why?”

“Because I know just what’ll happen.”

“What’ll happen?”

“You’ll take us to some nice planet –”

“Oh, absolutely –”

“And it’ll be very pretty and relaxing –”

“Most definitely!”

“– for about a minute,” Jamie finished. “And then the slimy bug-beasties will show up and make a mess and people will get hurt. That’s what happens everywhere we go.”

The Doctor pouted. “There aren’t slimy bug-beasties _everywhere_ we go.”

“No,” Jamie sighed. “Sometimes there’s slimy lizard-beasties.”

The Doctor kissed his nose. “Lizards aren’t slimy.”

“Ach, whatever.” He snuggled in closer.

Suddenly, the Doctor said, “oooh!”

“Eh?”

“Do you know what this means?”

“What?”

“Do you have any idea,” said the Doctor. “How many planets we aren’t married on yet?”

Jamie blinked slowly, understanding. “Would we get more parties?” 

“Oh, yes!” said the Doctor. “Ever so many parties.”

“With more cake?”

“I’m in,” said Jamie. “Let’s get married again.”

“Oh, splendid!”

“Right after I’m finished ravishing you.”

“Oh, my!” cried the Doctor as Jamie picked him up, his legs wriggling, and carted him to the bed.


	16. Can I kiss you? (Take 2) (Jamie/Victoria)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com/).

“Can I kiss you?”

Victoria delicately wiped ice cream off her chin and said, “hmm? What was that?”

“I, erm –” Jamie gestured at the pink-sanded bay before them with his ice cream cone. “I said, I’m going to miss this place.”

“Oh!” said Victoria. “Yes. So will I.” She licked her ice cream, her mouth very pink.

*

“Can I kiss you?”

Victoria didn’t even notice he’d spoken. “It _does_ look alright, doesn’t it?” she said, fussing with her ruffles. “It’s _ever_ so short – I’m afraid I look like a – like a –”

“No!” said Jamie. “You look – erm –” Mentally he ran through any number of adjectives. “Beautiful. You look beautiful.”

Victoria’s face lit up and his heart warmed. “Oh, do you really think so?” She looked down at herself. “You can see _all_ of my legs!”

Which as far as Jamie was concerned, was much of the appeal. “Oh, so you can!” he said like he’d only just noticed.

One of the dress’s thin straps had worked its way down Victoria’s shoulder. With a scowl she pulled it back into place. “The straps are awfully loose. Could you tighten them for me?” She turned around – and there was even less dress at the back than the front. You could see her shoulder blades.

Jamie swallowed. “Aye. Alright.”

*

“Can I kiss you?”

Victoria froze. “Pardon?”

Oh, Lord. She’d heard him. Jamie’s mouth worked as he tried to think what to say – what was he supposed to _say_?

She was holding his hands. She’d been in the act of tugging him out of the shadows to join the dancing, but now they’d stopped, hanging in between, half in the dark. 

“I, erm – I’m so sorry – it just came out – I don’t know what I was thinkin’ –” He took a breath and realised she still hadn’t let go of his hands. “Not that I was thinkin’ it – I wasnae – I don’t know why I – I don’t –”

“Yes,” said Victoria, so softly he almost didn’t hear her.

“I – eh?”

“Jamie – yes,” she said again. “You can kiss me, if you like.”

“Oh,” said Jamie. He let go of one of her hands – and touched her hair – and leaned in.

She was looking up at him, her eyes two points of light in the semi-darkness, and he wanted to – oh, he _really_ wanted to – but his heart was thudding and he was stupidly frightened. He wet his lips – and –

“Oh, _there_ you two are!” cried the Doctor, bounding towards them. They sprang apart – and if he noticed he was interrupting, he gave no sign of it. “Having fun without me, eh?”


	17. We need to get married (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com) and [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).
> 
> Prequel to [We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6317737/chapters/15423205).

“We need to get married!”

“Wha’?” Jamie rubbed his eyes, half asleep. 

“Look lively.” The Doctor gave him a shake. “Everyone’s waiting for you.”

“Huh?” The light in their bedroom was greyish, the sun not all the way up yet. Jamie’d been having a nice dream about boating on a beautiful lake. He was going back to sleep. “Aye. In the mornin’,” he said, and rolled over.

“No no no!” The Doctor pounced, scrabbling at the blankets. “It’s very important – Ubleian marriage ceremonies have to take place at dawn, you see – on the equinox.”

Jamie opened his eyes and stared up at the Doctor. It was beginning to dawn on him that the Doctor might seriously be proposing to him. “What.”

“The priest’s outside,” said the Doctor. “I found some witnesses – we had any number of volunteers – we’re very popular, don’t you know.”

“Alright.” Jamie sat up and tried to blink himself awake. “I understand. No, I don’t. You’ve lost me. What’s going on?”

“It’s very simple,” said the Doctor.

“It is?”

“If I’m to act as a negotiator after the equinox I need to be, ah, married.”

“You do?”

“Oh, yes. It’s customary. I, ah, forgot.”

“You _forgot_?”

“So I shall have to marry you,” said the Doctor. “Right away.” He tugged down the blankets. “Get your kit on! There’s no time to lose.”

No – the Doctor wasn’t proposing to him. He wasn’t asking, he was telling – nay, ordering. “Do I get any say in this?”

“No,” said the Doctor flatly. He leapt off the bed and bounded to the wardrobe. “No need to dress up,” he said, tossing a shirt at Jamie’s face. “Any old thing will do.”

“Doctor –”

“Put that on. You can’t get married in the nip!”

“But –” His kilt caught him full in the face. “But what if I dinnae want to get married?”

“Would you rather I married one of the locals?” The Doctor picked up Jamie’s boots.

“Well – no.”

“There you are, then,” said the Doctor. “Don’t worry. It’s only, ah, legally binding on Ubleon.” He darted across the room, patted Jamie’s hair, and kissed his temple. “Five minutes, now.” He pressed Jamie’s boots into his hands.

The door banged shut behind him. Jamie sat beneath a pile of mismatched clothes, clutching his shoes, bewildered.

The Doctor poked his head around the door. “Oh, yes,” he said. “And they’re going to throw us a rather fabulous all-day party afterwards. Wouldn’t want to miss that, would you? Come along!”


	18. We could do this together (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [jawnnwatson](http://jawnnwatson.tumblr.com/).

“We could do this together.”

“No, no,” said the Doctor, fiddling with his gadget. “I don’t need any help. Besides, I’d, ah, like you to keep an eye on things here.”

“Aye.” Jamie adjusted his stance, eying the teleportation apparatus that was shortly to swallow up the Doctor with distrust. “I can do that.”

“I’ll just nip up there, hook this into the station’s control grid,” the Doctor waggled his flashing gadget, “and be back in time for tea.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” said Jamie. “Cause I can come with you –”

“Only take a jiffy,” said the Doctor, making some adjustments.

Clearly he was absorbed in his task. “Alright, then,” said Jamie, swinging his arms, taking a step back towards the door. “I’ll let the others know you’re off, shall I?”

“Hmm? Yes,” said the Doctor. Then he lifted his head and said, “Oh! Wait a moment.”

“Eh?”

The Doctor tucked his gadget into his pocket – crossed the room – and gathered Jamie up in his arms. “I do love you,” he said. “You know that, don’t you?”

Pulling away, Jamie said, “hey, where’s this coming from?”

“Hm?” said the Doctor. “I can’t be, ah, affectionate – every now and again?”

“No,” said Jamie. “D’you need me to come with you?”

“No – no,” the Doctor shook his head, “you stay here, where –”

“Where I’ll be safe?” Jamie drew back still farther. “You’re coming back, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am!” The Doctor caught Jamie’s hands, holding him fast.

“Good,” said Jamie. “Cause you’d better, else I’m comin’ after you.”

The Doctor scowled. “You absolutely will _not_.”

“I will so! Try and stop me.”

“Oh, you –” The Doctor chuckled, squeezed Jamie’s hands. “I shan’t be long,” he said, and drew away.

Jamie nodded slowly. He turned to the door – and turned back. “Hey, Doctor?”

“Hmm?” The Doctor looked up from his tinkering. 

Jamie stepped forward, took the Doctor’s face in his hands, and kissed him soundly. “I love you too,” he said.

“Yes,” said the Doctor. He cleared his throat. “Back in time for tea. You’ll see.” Slipping out of Jamie’s grasp, he went to the teleporter and fiddled with the controls. “Let the others know,” he said as the power fizzled on, “and tell Zoe I said –”

With a _fzzzz_ of energy and a _hisss_ of displaced air, he faded like smoke blowing away in the wind.


	19. That’s not a crime (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“That’s no’ a crime!” Jamie said hotly.

“Ah.” The Doctor coughed. “I’m afraid it is, actually.”

“Eh?”

“It’s, ah, illegal for a man to show his knees within the, ah, boundaries of the sacred city,” the Doctor explained. “I forgot,” he added lamely.

Jamie looked at him. He looked at the guards with their bronze-tipped spears, pointed at him. “…I could change.”

The chief guard angled her spear towards a tender part of Jamie’s anatomy.

“I think it’s a bit, er, late for that.” 

“What do we do?” Jamie hissed.

“When I say run –”

“Run,” Jamie finished, and ran.


	20. It’s very purple (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [jellyqueue](http://jellyqueue.tumblr.com/) and [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“It’s very purple.” Jamie surveyed the glass bowl before him, inspecting its glistening contents. “What is it?”

“Ah, ice, mostly,” said the Doctor. “It _is_ vibrant, isn’t it – the colour’s from – ah, here.” He scooped up a spoonful. “Try some before it melts.”

Jamie pricked up his ears. “What’s the colour from?”

“Try some first.” The Doctor held out the long sundae spoon and with a mental shrug, Jamie tasted it.

“Mmm.”

“Good?”

“Aye. It’s sweet. Sort of –” His mind raced, trying to find a comparison. Some sort of tangy fruit juice, he supposed, but also – not that. Sort of fizzy – but smooth – melting in his mouth into something like honey.

“Isn’t it?” The Doctor fed him another spoonful. Jamie wasn’t sure if this was the customary way to eat it, but he wasn’t complaining. “Fascinating taste – it’s a sort of, well – a, a sort of nectar.”

“From flowers?” Jamie sucked the spoon clean.

“Well, not so much a nectar as a – secretion.”

“A what now?”

“Do you, ah – do you remember those fabulous beetles we saw in the forest?”

“Aye, the great big ones?” Shining things they were, with wings like polished jewels. But he didn’t see what that had to do with – oh. “Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes!”

Jamie looked at the bowl, feeling his stomach start to turn. “They eat _beetles_?”

“Not exactly,” said the Doctor. “More – milk them.”

“This is – beetle milk?”

“With ice!” the Doctor said brightly.

Jamie pushed the bowl away.

“Oh, come now,” said the Doctor. “You liked it before you knew what it was.”

“Aye, that was before I knew what it was!”

“Just a little more.” The Doctor scooped some up. “Hmm? For me?”

Jamie shook his head.

“Open wide! Here comes the aeroplane!” Waving the spoon at him, the Doctor started making strange, high-pitched noises. “Neee-ow! Nee-ow!”

“What’s an aeroplane?” said Jamie. “Hey – no! Mmm!” The Doctor prodded again at his mouth with the spoon, pushing at his closed lips. “Mmm!”

“Open up!” laughed the Doctor. “Neee-oww!”

Jamie batted him away and said, “if I eat some more will ye stop makin’ that noise?”

“Yes,” said the Doctor, and thrust the spoon into his mouth.


	21. He’s full of those (Two + Jamie + Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com).

“He’s full of those,” Jamie said quietly.

“Is this a – no, that’s a, ah, bag of marbles.” The Doctor added it to the pile of oddments on the TARDIS console.

“He must rattle when he walks,” Zoe murmured.

“Aye, not so you’d notice. That’s the funny thing.”

“Ah! Oh, no – goodness me.” The Doctor peered into a white paper bag, sniffing the contents suspiciously. “Where _did_ I get that? Oooh! String! Won’t that be handy,” he said, unwinding and unwinding string from his pocket. 

The pile collapsed, marbles and peppermints rolling across the floor. Scowling, Jamie knelt to pick them up. “Oh yes, do have a peppermint!” 

“How do you _fit_ it all?” Zoe eyed the haphazard stack with concern.

“It’s very interesting, you see – aha!” With a flourish, the Doctor produced yet another bag. “Jelly babies!” He held out the bag with a spreading grin. “Go on! Try one!”


	22. Why aren’t we hugging? (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [jawnnwatson](http://jawnnwatson.tumblr.com) and [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/).

The space station concourse was crowded with people from all over the planet. At first it seemed hopeless – but as Jamie scanned the crowd it parted, and there was the Doctor, looking ever so small and worried. “Doctor!”

He turned and Jamie saw his face light up, mouthing his name; and without a thought, he ran towards the Doctor, pushing through the crowd until,–

A few scant feet between them, he stopped, swaying on the spot. “Hullo.”

“Hallo.” The Doctor’s fingers twisted together. 

“You look – well.” Lord, this was ridiculous. He’d rehearsed this so many times in his head – had so much to say. It had only been a few months. It felt like years. 

They hadn’t exactly parted on the best of terms. 

“You look a little worse for wear.”

“Aye.” Jamie fingered the freshly-healed cut on his jaw. He’d expected apologies, he’d expected the Doctor to say _I told you so, didn’t I tell you so_ , he’d expected to stick out his chin and say _I’d do it again_ – but now here he was and here the Doctor was, and – “och, why aren’t we hugging?”

“I’ve no idea,” said the Doctor.

“C’mere –” Jamie swept forward, pulling him into a bear hug – and the Doctor squeaked, and laughed, and hugged back.

“Oh, I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” said Jamie, and lifted him off his feet, squeezing tight.


	23. This is my team (Two + Jamie + Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/).

“This is my team,” said the Doctor.

“ _This_ is your team?” repeated the general. “A little girl – and a man in a _skirt_?”

“Hey, now!”

“I’m a lot tougher than I look –”

“It’s no’ a skirt!”

“- And _very_ clever,” finished Zoe.

“Aye, much cleverer than me.” 

“Oh, _so_ much cleverer than _him_.”

The general shot the Doctor a withering look. “Please tell me this is some sort of joke.”

“It’s nothing of the sort.” The Doctor puffed out his chest. “I think you’ll find them both an asset to your, ah, operations.”

“And it’s a _kilt_ ,” stuck in Jamie.


	24. We had a reason that day (Two + Jamie + Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com/).

“Oh come now, Zoe,” said the Doctor. “Just think of it – like that time on Azakares 7, hmm?”

“We had a _reason_ that day.” Azakares 7 had been freezing cold at night. It had been logical to conserve body heat. This was just some absurd local custom.

“We’ve a reason today,” said Jamie. He and the Doctor fussed around the bed, arranging the many pillows. 

“When in Rome, eh?” the Doctor said brightly.

“Well, it’s a stupid reason.” Zoe crossed her arms. She was _not_ sleeping in the same bed as the Doctor and Jamie. The Doctor kicked and Jamie snored. She’d sleep on the floor.

“Besides, everyone shares where I come from,” Jamie said.

Which, Zoe thought, said a lot about where _he_ came from. “I’m not doing it.”

“Don’t be silly,” said the Doctor. “I’m sure you’ll get used to it. There!” He sprang back, the bed arranged to his likings. “How’s that?”

“Looks cosy,” said Jamie.

“Quite,” said the Doctor. “Hm.” He surveyed the bedroom. “They, ah, don’t seem to have left us any nightclothes…”

“I think they sleep in the nip.” Jamie looked at Zoe. “Erm…”

She took her head in her hands. “I shall _scream_.”


	25. Change your shirt (Two + Jamie + Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com).

“Change your shirt!” 

Jamie looked at his shirt, which was plain and blue and inoffensive. “What? Why?”

“Why?” the Doctor echoed. “Why, because it’s the same as _mine_!”

“ _Is_ it?” Squinting, Jamie supposed they _were_ the same, give or take a few wrinkles. “So?”

The Doctor pouted. “We can’t go out wearing the same shirt. We’ll look silly.”

Jamie looked at his kilt and furry vest. He looked at the Doctor, in his too-large suit and braces and bright orange bow tie. He glanced at Zoe, waiting by the door in a lime green and pink jumpsuit. “Silly? Us? Never.”


	26. He was right here (Two + Jamie + Ben + Polly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“He was right here!” said Polly. “Standing by the fountain! I only turned my head for a moment – oh, where could he have _gone_?”

“Don’t fret, Pol,” said Ben. “He can’t have gone far, can he? 

“Ben’s right,” chipped in Jamie. “How much trouble can he have got into, in a place like this?” 

They looked around themselves, at the laughing children, the birds playing in the fountains, the blue sky, the graceful trees that fringed the square. It was the most relaxing place they’d been in weeks – months, maybe. 

“Although,” said Jamie, “this is the _Doctor_ we’re talking about.”

They exchanged looks.

“I’ll go this way,” said Ben, jerking his head further into the town.

“I’ll look on the beach.” Jamie darted away.

“I’ll check the TARDIS – see if he’s there –” Polly raced towards the clifftops.

Five minutes later, the Doctor wandered back to the fountain. Licking his ice cream cone, he looked all around the square and saw no sign of his companions. Wandered off again, he thought with a roll of his eyes. Oh, well. It wasn’t as if they could get into much trouble. He settled himself on the edge of the fountain to wait.


	27. It takes too long (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/).

“It takes too long,” said the Doctor. “This is a, ah, shortcut.”

“It’s a death-trap is what it is,” grumbled Jamie.

“Nonsense.” The Doctor paused to find his footing on the icy stone. “This bridge has stood for – a thousand years. It’s a masterpiece of engineering.”

“It’s falling to bits,” said Jamie, still clinging to the rock face. “How high is it?”

“Don’t worry about that,” said the Doctor. “Just be glad we’re climbing in winter – in summer when the air’s clear you can see all the way to the ground – oh, do come along.” He turned about-face and beamed at Jamie. “It’s perfectly safe. Look!” He hopped up and down on the spot.

Jamie scowled but, very gingerly, stepped out onto the bridge. He took a few tentative steps forward – and stopped. “It doesnae _feel_ safe.”

“A thousand years,” the Doctor chirped. “Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

“Aye, be that as it may –”

A _crunch_ of packed ice and stone giving way – a short yelp of alarm – a rush of wind. The Doctor whirled around, stretching out an arm to help, but he was too late.

Too late. Where Jamie had been standing was nothing but empty space. The bridge had broken, crumbled away as if a giant mouth had taken a bite from it – and Jamie – Jamie was gone.

“Jamie!” He scrambled down the bridge, towards that void, not caring about the danger, not caring about anything but Jamie – it couldn’t be too late – it _couldn’t_ – 

A few feet below, the clouds rippled like water, and he knew that beneath the surface was nothing but mist and empty space for three thousand feet. “Oh – oh, no,” he said softly. “No, no –” It was all his fault.

“That _hurt_ ,” rang out a voice from the mist.

The Doctor stared down into the void. “Pardon?”

“I said that hurt!” cried the voice. “Are you gonnae get me out of this or not?”

“Jamie?” he breathed.

“No, it’s the king of France!” Jamie snapped back.

“But – how –” His relief was tempered by confusion. It defied all logic. Jamie couldn’t possibly be alive down there. It was three thousand feet to solid ground, at least –

A well-timed gust of mist parted the clouds and for a few seconds, there was Jamie, sprawled on a scant outcropping of rock eight feet or so below, ruffled and bruised and scowling – and very much alive. “Perfectly safe, eh?”

“Jamie,” said the Doctor, a grin spreading across his face. “Jamie! You’re alright!”

“My bruises have bruises,” said Jamie as the mist swallowed him. “And if you dinnae get me up soon you’re gonnae get such a seeing to.”

 _Well_ , the Doctor wanted to retort, **_you’re_** going to get such a hug. “Sit tight!” he shouted, cupping his hands about his mouth. “I’ll find some rope!”


	28. We have a problem (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [jawnnwatson](http://jawnnwatson.tumblr.com/) and [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“We have a problem.” 

Jamie wanted to say _what, other than **crashing**_ , but the ship gave another sickening lurch and a rumble, so he didn’t get any further than, “what –”

“We’re venting fuel and coolant,” said the Doctor, “and the central control circuits are severed – and, ah –”

An even louder rumble and the ship kicked and listed to the side, almost sending them both sprawling. Jamie grabbed the Doctor, holding him up or clinging on for support he wasn’t sure.

“Oh, oh my giddy aunt, that was our second engine.” The Doctor raised his voice to be heard over the howl. “We’re in a very bad way.”

“Can ye fix it?”

The Doctor pursed his lips. “Maybe if I the right tools – and, ah, a few weeks –” The ship rolled the other way and they hit the wall hard, knocking the breath out of them. “We’re going to have to jump for it.”

“ _Jump_ for it –” Whatever else Jamie might have wanted to say was drowned out, for the Doctor hauled open the external door, filling the cabin with a screeching wail of wind.

“If we time it right we might just make it,” the Doctor shouted over the wind.

Jamie stared down at the rolling grey ocean, his eyes watering. “But –”

“Should be a soft landing,” said the Doctor. “On my count –”

Grabbing the Doctor’s arm, Jamie said, “I cannae swim!”

“ _What_?” The Doctor stared at him, appalled – and shook his head. “There’s no time.” 

He put his hand firmly between Jamie’s shoulder blades and before Jamie could say more than, “no, _no_ ,” – he pushed.

He only had a few seconds to register what was happening – a few moments of rushing wind before he plunged into the stinging, icy cold sea. It hurt, really hurt, like falling onto frigid needles and he thought _soft landing, my arse_ before the ship hit the sea a hundred yards ahead and everything went wild.

There were lights, red lights, under the suddenly frothing water, tossing him about like driftwood in a storm. Briefly he surfaced and breathed in before he was sucked down again. He could see the surface about him, tantalisingly close, but he was swept away. 

He couldn’t see the Doctor. He couldn’t see anything except shadows and silvery bubbles. He’d lost track of which way was up and which was down, for they both looked the same, and he couldn’t see the Doctor, not a trace of him.

His lungs were burning, his eyes stinging, and he realised, with grim, groggy resignation, that he’d escaped from a crashing ship only to drown in this alien ocean. Somewhere the Doctor was drowning too and he couldn’t do a damn thing to help. He closed his eyes.

A pair of arms closed around his waist, holding him, bearing him up, up. They broke the surface and he heard air rushing past his ears, heard the Doctor say, “Jamie? Jamie, breathe.”

He tried to, but only managed one breath before his mouth dipped below the surface and he sucked in salty water. He coughed, and choked. The Doctor’s cold hand cupped his chin, supporting his head. “Breathe,” he said, and Jamie breathed, acutely aware of his own helplessness. “I’ve got you. Move your legs, now. Like you’re running.”

Jamie thought, _what_? but tried to do as he was told. “That’s it,” said the Doctor. “Like I’m doing.”

Around them was nothing but still grey ocean, an endless expanse of water. All trace of the ship had disappeared. They were alive, but that was all. Jamie wanted to say thank-you, but he wasn’t sure he had the strength. Turning his head to look at the Doctor, he said, “now what?”

“It’s only a few miles to land,” the Doctor said.

“I cannae swim a few miles.” He couldn’t swim a few feet.

“Don’t fret,” said the Doctor. “I’m sure I have, ah –” He took his hand from Jamie’s jaw to root through his coat pocket, briging out something round and orange. “Hold on.” He took one end of the trailing cord in his mouth. “Won’t be a moment –”

He tugged and with a hissing the orange thing expanded, puffing up and up till it was a wee raft, just big enough for two people to sit. It was a bit like trying to climb onto a floating pancake, but with some cursing and slipping he managed it. The raft dipped as the Doctor climbed aboard – and there they were, the pair of them, sailing in their tiny ship.

Jamie wiped a hand across his mouth. He was dripping wet and shivering all over, but oddly calm. “You have a _boat_ in your coat?”

“You’re a poet,” the Doctor chuckled.

“Eh?”

“Never mind.” Doctor produced a set of folding paddles. “Always be prepared!”


	29. Hunt them down (Two + Jamie + Victoria)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“Hunt them down.”

The Doctor looked at the screen, at the grainy images of Jamie and Victoria. He pictured them, somewhere above his head, innocently exploring the city. He pictured the hounds, the scaly beasts in their cages with teeth that could chew through bone –

“No!” He threw himself forward and soldiers caught him and held him back, but still he fought.

The general turned to him with a sickening smile. “They’re yours, then?”

The Doctor hung his head. “Yes. I – yes, they are.”

“Surrender the location of your ship,” said the general, “and I might call off the hounds.”


	30. I really love it (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Season 6B drabble for [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“I know it’s not, ah, perfect,” said the Doctor, wringing his hands. Behind him, Jamie stepped out onto the grass. “The TARDIS can only do so much, and – oh, dear.” Perhaps this had been a mistake. Jamie wasn’t saying a word. “I know it’s not, not quite what you wanted, but I, I did my best –”

Before he could babble any further, Jamie caught his face in his hands and kissed him sweetly, proudly. The Doctor felt his face flush pink.

“I really love it,” Jamie said.

Above them was a near cloudless sky; around them a sweep of highland glen, speckled with gorse and heather. The air was cold and tasted crisp, clean, pure as the look in Jamie’s eyes. “Oh.”

Jamie’s hand drifted down his shoulder, his chest, looking up, up at the hillside. “I’d take you home, if I could,” said the Doctor. 

“I know,” said Jamie.

“If – if only they’d let me.”

“I know.” Sighing, Jamie touched their foreheads together. “Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“Thank-you.”

Their fingers twisting together, the Doctor said, “you’re very welcome.”


	31. How about a hug, hm? (Two/Jamie, Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com).

“How about a hug, hm?”

“Oh, aye? And what makes you think you deserve a hug?” said Jamie.

“Well, I –”

“After you abandoned me in that mud hole –”

“We, ah, didn’t abandon you…”

“– and left me there for _two whole days_.”

“Ah.”

“And I almost got eaten by some great scaley beastie!”

“And _who_ saved you from the beastie?” said the Doctor.

“I wouldnae have needed savin’ if you hadnae swanned off with your new friends in your hot air balloon!”

“I didn’t swan off,” said the Doctor, hurt. “We were looking for you – if you hadn’t wandered off –”

“ _Me_ wander off? You’re the one who wandered off!” Jamie retorted.

“Well, at any rate, you’re quite safe now.” The Doctor spread his arms. “How about it, eh?”

Jamie scowled at the Doctor. Then he looked down at himself – and when he looked back at the Doctor, he had a devious glint in his eye.

“Now, that’s more like it – oh, my word – _eurgh_! Jamie! Don’t – oh, no –”

“ _Two days_ ,” Jamie hissed, wiping his grimy hands up and down the Doctor’s poor coat.

Somehow, in his excitement to see Jamie safe and well, he hadn’t registered how utterly filthy he was. When at last he managed to extricate himself from Jamie’s slimy grasp, there was a muddy, Scotsman-shaped stain all down his coat and his trousers and his good shirt. “Oh, dear,” he said sadly. “I suppose I deserved that.”

“Aye,” said Jamie, and smeared his muddy hand over the Doctor’s face.

Just then, the door opened and into the control room sidled Zoe. She had evidently come from the wardrobe, for she was looking very smart in a new lime green and pink jumpsuit. “Have you two made up, then?” she said sweetly.

“Right,” said Jamie. “Your turn.”

“What do you mean, my –” Zoe took in the Doctor’s appearance and, eyes widening, made for the door. “Don’t you _dare_ – Jamie! Get _off_ me, you – you filthy –”

With a deep sigh, the Doctor took a handkerchief from his pocket and began to dab vainly at his shirt.

“You’re disgusting, and I hate you,” said Zoe matter-of-factly once the shrieking had died down, her voice muffled, her face pressed half into Jamie’s shoulder.

“Aye, well it serves you right,” said Jamie, stroking a dirty hand over her hair.

“He has a point, you know,” said the Doctor.

“I usually do,” said Jamie.

The Doctor tucked away his handkerchief. “Do take a bath, Jamie."


	32. Did you think I forgot? (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com).

“Did you think I forgot?” said the Doctor.

“I, erm.” Jamie turned the loosely-wrapped parcel over in his hands, embarrassed to admit he had no idea what the occasion was. “Forgot, erm, what?”

“Oh, now don’t tell me _you_ forgot!” cried the Doctor, clapping his hands to his face. “It’s our anniversary, of course.”

“Our –”

“One year exactly, by my reckoning.” The Doctor beamed.

How he’d worked that out, Jamie couldn’t have said. He couldn’t say if it was a hundred years since he boarded the TARDIS or a few weeks. Sometimes it felt like yesterday. He didn’t know if the Doctor had really kept count or if he was making excuses for gift giving and either way he felt awkward – but warm, inside. 

“Oh! Oh, aye.” He fingered the glossy wrapping paper. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s quite alright.” The Doctor clapped his hands. “It’s the, ah, thought that counts. Go on! Open it.”

Beneath the paper was a colourful box that said _liquorice allsorts_. And inside the box was – “Oh!”

The box clattered to the floor as he hastened to touch the contents. It was – but it couldn’t be _his_ , could it? But it _was_ his. He remembered that burn mark, from where it had once got left too close to a camp fire. It was his very own Highland bonnet, that he hadn’t seen since, well – since one year ago exactly, if the Doctor was right. “I thought I lost this.”

“You did.” The Doctor motioned at the hat. “I, ah, found it. Last week. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No! No.” Jamie blinked, trying to clear his eyes. It was like being given a piece of home – a piece of something he thought was lost to him forever. 

“Only I thought I’d save it for a special occas- oof!”

“Thank you,” said Jamie, squeezing the Doctor tight.


	33. Why didn’t you tell me? (Jamie/Victoria)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com/).

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jamie glanced up from his breakfast porridge, wide-eyed. “I didn’t think you’re care.”

Victoria buttered her toast.

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“D’you care?”

“Of course I don’t care,” said Victoria, still buttering. “Why should I care? It’s hardly my business, is it?”

“Aye. Course not.” Jamie stirred his porridge, not eating it. Perhaps he’d lost his appetite.

“Are you going to see her again?”

“I don’t know.” His ears, she noticed, had turned pink. “Aye. Probably. What’s it to you?”

“Nothing at all.” Victoria looked at her carefully-buttered toast and found she didn’t want to eat it. Perhaps she’d lost _her_ appetite.

Slowly, Jamie began to eat his breakfast.

“Are you in love with her?”

Jamie choked on his porridge. “What?”

“I said, are you –”

“I heard what ye said. I –” He breathed out heavily through his nose. “No. I’m no’ in love with her.”

“Then why are you –” How was she to phrase it? “– walking out with her?”

“Aye, like you said. It’s none of your business,” said Jamie.

“I suppose not.” But it _felt_ like her business. Her stomach hurt.

“It’s no’ like it matters,” Jamie said. “We’ll be away in a few days.”

“And then you shan’t ever see her again,” said Victoria.

She regretted her words at once. A nasty, hurt look crossed Jamie’s face. It was one of those things she tried not to think about, and surely Jamie felt the same: that anyone they met, any friends they met, were lost to them forever the moment they moved on. 

“Aye, so,” said Jamie, digging into his porridge.

It was on the tip of her tongue to apologise, because she hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings, _truly_ she hadn’t, she’d only meant to state the obvious. But before she could do more than fiddle awkwardly with her butter knife, Jamie said,

“I’ll no’ see her again.” He looked her in the eye. “If you dinnae want me to. I’ll no’ see her anymore.”

“I don’t care what you do,” Victoria said stubbornly.

“Aye, but if you did,” said Jamie. “I wouldnae see her again. If you dinnae like it.”

She knew what she _ought_ to say, which was that she didn’t care in the slightest, that Jamie could walk out with a girl if he wanted to, and at any rate she was a perfectly nice girl – but when she opened her mouth, what came out was, “yes. I’d like that.”

Jamie gave her a curious look over his porridge, and oddly thoughtful look that she couldn’t quite make sense of. “Alright. So it’s settled, then.”

“Alright,” Victoria agreed.

Jamie flashed her a smile.


	34. Fight me, you attractive stranger (Two/Jamie, Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com)

“And then Jamie said, _fight me, you attractive stranger_ ,” said the Doctor.

“That’s no’ what I said.”

“I’m, ah, paraphrasing, of course,” said the Doctor. “And then I said, _why, put those knives down at once, you ruffians, and we shall talk about this like civilised people_!”

“You didnae,” said Jamie. “Ye said, _oh dear me, what a big knife_.”

“But you _did_ pull a knife on him?” Zoe giggled.

“Well.” Jamie shifted uncomfortably. “Aye. But I wasnae gonnae _use_ it!”

“Yes, well –” The Doctor cleared his throat.

“Did you make a habit of holding people at knifepoint?” said Zoe.

“Only shifty-looking Sassenach types!” Jamie protested. “What was I supposed to think, him insulting the prince like that –”

“This would be Prince Charles, yes?”

“That’s, ah –”

“Aye, of course! _The_ prince!”

“This is all rather beside the point,” said the Doctor. “The point is, ah, it was all terribly exciting – I think there were, ah, pirates –”

“They were slavers,” Jamie corrected. “They were gonnae sell us in the West Indies.”

“Oh, yes.” The Doctor fiddled with a switch on the console.

“Nasty business all around,” said Jamie. “You see, Zoe –”

“Shush, you! _I’m_ telling it!” said the Doctor. “Where was I, now –”

“You know,” said Zoe as loudly and clearly as she could, “I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think I want to hear this story after all.”

“I think it was about then that the, ah, red coats found us – oh no, that wasn’t until after Ben, ah – or was it before –”

“Ach, you’re gettin’ it all muddled up,” said Jamie. “It was like this, Zoe –”

“Please?” said Zoe. Neither of them noticed.


	35. I said I love you (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“I said, I love you.”

“Oh, aye,” said Jamie vaguely. “Say it again.”

“Hm,” the Doctor sniffed, but obliged him. “I love you.”

Jamie kissed him, tongue slipping into his mouth, a hand stroking his cheek. “Mmm.” He leaned back against the balustrade. Somewhere beneath them, the sea was lapping ceaselessly against the rocks, a distant roar on the edge of his hearing. “Say it again.”

“Well, really!” said the Doctor.

“D’you want more kisses or not?”

“I love you,” said the Doctor.

Jamie kissed him, fingers curling in his hair, feather-light touches on his scalp.

“I, ah.” Jamie slipped a hand inside the Doctor’s coat. “I love you.”

Jamie kissed him again, long and deep, and when he pulled away he felt the Doctor shiver.

“Aye. How much?”

“Hmm?”

“How much d’you love me?”

“Oh, lots and lots.” The Doctor dipped forward. Jamie turned his face away.

“How much is lots and lots?”

“Ever so much.” Again he tried to steal a kiss, and again Jamie dodged. “Stop that!”

“D’you love me –” The Doctor pressed his lips to Jamie’s neck, and he gasped. “– Do you love me more than you love travellin’ in the TARDIS?”

“Oh, really!” The Doctor gave him a hard look. “That’s not fair.”

“No?”

“No! Well, well do you love me more than – more than Scotland?”

Jamie laughed. “Aye. I ‘spose it’s a tie.” He grabbed the Doctor’s collar, pulled him in to kiss properly, long and wet and deep.

“Mmmm,” said the Doctor, drawing back just enough to speak. “Look up.”

“Eh?” Jamie looked up, at the alien star-cluster scattered across the night sky, at the thousands upon thousands of stars.

“ _That_ much,” the Doctor murmured again his ear, and Jamie felt a shiver run through his body and settle, warm and content, in his stomach.

“Aye,” he breathed, tightening his grip on the Doctor. “That much.”


	36. Okay it was me… so? (Jamie + Ben + Polly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com).

“Who used up all my shampoo?” demanded Polly, dripping water all over the carpet.

“Well, don’t look at me,” said Ben.

She looked at Jamie, lounging on the sofa.

He shrugged. “Aye, it was me. So?”

“What did you do that for?” said Ben.

“Well, what am I supposed to do now?” said Polly.

“It smelled good,” said Jamie, unperturbed.

“I’m all wet.”

“Been wondering why you smelled like roses, mate,” said Ben.

“Why shouldn’t I smell like roses?”

“Actually, it’s lavender and geranium,” said Polly mournfully.

“You know it’s for girls, right mate?”

“Who says?”

“How am I supposed to get more?”

“Says on the bottle.”

“Aye, well I didnae read the bottle, did I? It smelled good.”

“Who knows how long it’ll be before we land somewhere civilised? I need to wash my hair!”

“Use soap, duchess. Good enough for the rest of us.”

Polly glowered. “I’ll _ruin_ my hair, Ben Jackson.”

“What’re you snapping at me for? It was Jamie who used it up!”

“I didnae ken it was hers,” said Jamie. 

“Oh you’re as bad as each other,” said Polly, and stormed out of the room.

“What’d you want to smell like flowers for?” said Ben after a moment.

“Why don’t you?” said Jamie.

“Well, I –” Ben waved a hand. “Ah, forget it.”


	37. Sharing A Drink (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com)

“Now, the thing to do with your Betegeusian whiskeys,” said the Doctor, “is to put the ooblox leaf in your mouth first, and then sip it slowly – ah.”

Jamie had downed his cup in two swallows. He pulled a face. “It's no' bad.”

“Well, I suppose that, ah, works too.” The Doctor lifted his cup. “Bottoms up, eh?” he said, and downed it.

“Not much of a whisky drinker, eh?” said Jamie, rubbing the Doctor's back while he coughed and sputtered. “You'll get the hang of it soon enough.” He pulled the bottle over. “'Nother round?”


	38. On the edge of consciousness (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com).

“I'm writing a poem about you.” 

“Hmm?”

The Doctor traced patterns on the bare skin of Jamie's back with the tips of his fingers, drawing circles within circles. “It's a very lovely poem. I'm comparing you to a sunrise on Gallifrey.”

“Oh, aye,” Jamie murmurred into the pillow, almost asleep.

“It's rather a, ah, abstract poem.” The Doctor touched his lips to Jamie's shoulderblade. “But it's got ever so many kisses in it,” he kissed the back of Jamie's neck, “so it must be good.”

“Mmm,” Jamie sighed. “So it is.”

“Hush.” The Doctor drew his hand up Jamie's back. “This is my favourite part.”


	39. An abandoned or empty place (Two + Ben + Polly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com).

“Bleedin' 'ell,” said Ben as they reached the summit of the hill. 

“That's London!” exclaimed Polly.

“So it is!” The Doctor rubbed his hands together against the cold. “Marvellous view, eh?”

“But where are all the people?” said Polly. “And the buses? And – are those –”

“Wild horses, yes,” said the Doctor. “The people were all, ah, evacuated. It was supposed to be a temporary measure, but – well, it's funny how these things turn out. Quite something, isn't it?”

“It's spooky,” Polly said.

“Oh, I don't know. There's a certain poetry to it – all that, that emptiness, all those roads with no cars or people. It puts one in mind of, ah, Wordsworth...” He cleared his throat, preparing to recite. “ _Earth has not_ –”

“Look at that!” said Ben. “I think I can see my house from up 'ere.”


	40. Whaaaat? Is this yours? (Two + Jamie + Little Doctor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com) and this prompt: _Whaaaat? Is this yours? You can’t have it back, it’s mine now!_

“Oh, no you don't!” The Doctor's voice echoed out of the control room and down the corridor.

Jamie peered through the open door. On one side of the console stood the Doctor, pointing furiously across the room, locked in a silent battle of wills; and on the other side stood the little Doctor, frozen, the Doctor's recorder clutched to its chest, not a trace of remorse on its tiny face. Far from it; its expression said, quite clearly, _whaaaat? Is this yours? You can’t have it back, it’s mine now!_

“You put that back!” snapped the Doctor.

Eyes twinkling, the little Doctor raised the recorder to its lips.

“Don't you _dare_!” All of a sudden the Doctor dove across the room, making a wild grab for the wee beastie. It dodged, little feet _tap-tap-tapping_ across the deck, and the Doctor fell on the floor in a heap, arms flailing. “Oof!” He raised his head. “Jamie! Jamie, get it!”

Scampering away, the little Doctor put the recorder to its mouth and blew a high-pitched, discordant squeal, and another, and another, running rings around the TARDIS console, and Jamie all but fell about laughing.

“Jaaamie!” cried the Doctor, struggling to rise.

He was laughing almost too hard. He made a feeble attempt to catch it, but the little Doctor dove through his legs and scuttled on all fours to the door, the recorder held firmly in its mouth. It rounded the corner – and was gone.

Moments later, a shrill _peep, peep, peeeeEEEp_ sounded through the corridors.

“Oh, oh that nasty little blighter,” said the Doctor, dusting down his coat. “Oh, my poor recorder.”

“Aye, that wee fellow plays it even worse than you,” chuckled Jamie.

“Well, yes –” The Doctor looked at him sharply. “Well, what's _that_ supposed to mean?”


	41. Bonfire (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An autumn meme story for [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

The smell of wood smoke brought back memories of home. Jamie inhaled fondly as he stumped up the hill, clutching his burden. There was the Doctor, warming his hands on the fire, bathed in its flickering light. “Rather nice, isn’t it?”

“Aye,” said Jamie, coming to stand beside him. “Reminds me of home. It’s peaceful.”

“Well, it, ah, is now.” The Doctor rolled back his head to look at the stars. “Oh! What a beautiful clear night.”

“Aye,” said Jamie, looking at the Doctor, his eyes sparkling, the firelight dancing on his face.

The fire crackled, sending a few sparks up to the heavens.

“Perhaps we can toast marshmallows later,” the Doctor mused, rubbing his hands together.

“What’re marshmallows?” said Jamie.

“Ah, they’re – they’re a sort of – oh, I’ll show you later.” The Doctor’s eyes flicked to the twisted wood in Jamie’s arms. “Is that the last of it?”

“Aye.” Jamie tossed his armful of chopped-up devil-tree onto the fire. “Nae more tree beasties around here.” He dusted off his hands.

“Now, now it really wasn’t the tree’s fault,” said the Doctor.

“Aye, it was possessed,” said Jamie sagely.

“Not, not _possessed_ ,” the Doctor said. “More, ah, imbued with a malevolent psychic energy – we did go over this, didn’t we?”

He went on explaining, and Jamie stripped off his gloves and warmed his hands on the fire, half-listening. The fire sparked again, wood snapping and popping as it burned, and he felt a warm glow of satisfaction.


	42. First day of school (Jamie/Victoria, Two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com/).

“And you’ll be careful?” said Jamie.

“Really, Jamie, it’s only a school.” Victoria fussed over her short skirt. Quite how this was appropriate attire for a school girl she didn’t understand. Her knees were showing.

“Aye, but you be on your guard,” said Jamie. “I don’t like this, what with all those kids goin’ missing – and och, who knows what boys are like this century?”

“I’m sure they can’t be worse than boys in any other century.” Victoria plucked at her striped school tie. “Am I wearing this right?”

“I think you’ve tied it the wrong way,” said Jamie. “Here, I’ll have a go.” Tentatively, he stepped closer and untied it.

“Now, I’m not happy about this either,” said Victoria as he did his best to re-tie it, staring intently at her collar. “I’m rather too old to be a schoolgirl, you know.”

“Eh? Aye, I know that,” said Jamie.

“Well – good,” said Victoria. There were more things she wanted to say to that, but she didn’t quite have the nerve to say them.

Jamie’s eyes flicked to her face, his lips twisting into a knowing smile. “There you are,” he said, straightening her tie. “That ought to do you.”

“Thank you,” said Victoria, aware that they were standing far closer together than was really proper.

“Any time,” he said.

“All ready, are we?” The Doctor tumbled into the room. Jamie let go of her tie, stepping away.

“This skirt is _far_ too short,” Victoria said, tugging it down.

“That’s what they, ah, wear to school in this century.” The Doctor frowned at her, tapping his lips in thought.

“Well, I don’t like it,” said Victoria stubbornly. “It simply isn’t decent.”

The Doctor’s eyes alighted on her collar. “Oh, good gracious!” he exclaimed. “Where did you learn how to tie a tie, young lady? Oh, dear me no.”

“Erm,” said Jamie as the Doctor began to tie her tie – for the third time that morning.

“Thank you very much, Doctor,” said Victoria sweetly. “That’s very kind of you.”

“Hm? Oh, don’t mention it,” said the Doctor, fussing over her collar. “Next time, ask Jamie to help you.”

Victoria caught Jamie’s eye, and he smiled.


	43. Matching Halloween Costumes (Two/Jamie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“Oh, now how about this!” With a swish of silk, the Doctor pulled a ruffled pink ballgown from its hanger.

“I’m no’ wearing that!” said Jamie.

The Doctor looked at him, a touch bashful. “I meant for me.”

“You’re no’ wearin’ it either,” Jamie said.

“Well, why not?”

“You cannae go gallivantin’ about in a dress,” said Jamie. “You’ll look daft.”

“Says the man in the skirt,” said the Doctor, admiring the ballgown, running a hand over its silky ruffles.

“It’s a kilt.” Jamie jabbed a finger at him. “It’s a kilt and you ken that very well!”

“I know, I know.” The Doctor chuckled. He held the dress up to his body. “How about it, now? I’ll be, ah, a princess. I’m sure we can find you a prince costume somewhere. What do you say?”

Jamie looked at him, and broke down into bemused laughter. “I’m no prince. And I dinnae think that’s your colour, Doctor.”

“Oh?” The Doctor looked at the dress so dolefully that Jamie felt bad for turning him down. “Ah, well.” Putting the dress back, the Doctor flicked through the hangers, worming his way deeper and deeper into the wardrobe, finally vanishing between two racks of clothes.

“I ken why we’re dressing up,” said Jamie. “Or at least, I think I do. But why do we have to match? Is it the rules?”

“No, no,” the Doctor called. “I just think it’d be fun, don’t you agree? Now, here’s something!” He scrambled out of the clothes rack, bearing a confounding garment. Even when he shook it out, Jamie still couldn’t make sense of it. It was a sort of all-over suit, grey and blue, with a long blue cape and a yellow belt and a hood with little ears like a cat or a fox.

The Doctor was grinning and waggling his eyebrows, as if he expected Jamie to understand. “What’s that meant to be, when it’s at home?” said Jamie.

“Hm?” The Doctor’s face fell. “Oh! Ah, yes, I suppose it would be a little after your time.” He dusted the costume down. “Well, it’s Batman.”

“Bat… man?” He supposed it did have the look of a bat about it. If you squinted.

“Ah, yes, you see, he’s a man, who, ah, dresses like a bat and – oh, I’ll explain later,” said the Doctor. “What do you say?” He gave the costume a waggle.

“Erm,” said Jamie, frowning. “What do I wear, to match with that bat-suit?”

“Oh, ah.” The Doctor tossed Jamie the bat-suit and dove back into the bulging clothes rack. He emerged with a bundle of red and green cloth. “Here we are!” He shook out the costume.

“Och, not on your life,” said Jamie at once.

“Oh, really?” The Doctor looked at the red and green costume. “Whyever not?”

“Where’s the rest of it?” Jamie motioned at the costume’s lower half, or lack thereof. “Everyone’ll see my legs!”

The Doctor gave Jamie’s knees a pointed look. “Now, we couldn’t have that, could we?”

Jamie pressed his lips together in irritation. “That’s different. You cannae see _all_ of my legs. You can see everything in that thing.”

“Not, not everything.” The Doctor plucked at the costume. “The top bit would be covered. The, the _very_ top.” He gave Jamie a beseeching look. “Is that a, ah, a maybe, then?”

Slowly, Jamie paced towards him. “You know what I think?”

“What do you think?” said the Doctor.

Jamie dropped the bat-suit to the floor and folded his arms. “I think you’re tryin’ tae get me to take me kilt off.”

“Now, really!” The Doctor coughed gently. “Of all the ideas. Whyever would I do that?”

“Well, so ye can have an eyeful!” Jamie declared.

“Oh, really, now,” the Doctor stammered. “I, ah, I don’t do that.”

“You do so.” Jamie leaned in closer. “You’ve had a good long look at the knee’s down and now you want the whole package, is that it? Well, I willnae do it! And that’s final.”

“Now, ah – Jamie, really.” The Doctor crumpled up the costume, flushing pink. “I’ve seen your legs lots of times.”

“Oh?”

“I saw them last night!”

“Oh aye, so you did,” said Jamie. “So you did. Ach, but it’s the principle of the thing.” He flapped a hand vaguely. “I’m no’ prancing around in that get-up.”

“So that’s a no to Batman and Robin, is it?” Heaving a sigh, the Doctor tossed the costume aside. “Ah, well. Back to the drawing board.”


	44. Fall Festival (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [jawnnwatson](http://jawnnwatson.tumblr.com/).

“Here, get this down you,” said Jamie.

The Doctor said, “ah, I –” but Jamie had already pressed the mug of beer into his hand. It smelt rather fascinating and he sipped it gingerly, the steady beat of the drums thrumming through his bones. “Now, where have Polly and Ben got to?”

“Ach, they wandered off,” said Jamie. “They’ll be fine. Drink up and have some fun.”

“I’m not sure this is, ah, quite my scene,” said the Doctor.

“It’s no’ so different from my time.”

“I think we’re, ah, rather earlier than that.”

Jamie looked about himself, at the bonfires sending clouds of sparks heavenwards, at the crowds of people, some in homespun clothes, some in furs, some naked but for some smears of paint. He looked at the men and women in their animal masks, looming over it all, pounding away on their great drums. “Ach, if you cannae have a bit of fun with some godless heathens when _can_ you?” He prodded the Doctor. “Hey, you missed all the young lassies jumping over the fire with their clothes off. That was something, I tell you.”

“Goodness.” The Doctor’s ears had gone a bit pink. Maybe it was the beer. “With all their clothes off? I dare say you liked that.”

With a last thundering, the drums stopped beating and a cheer went up across the crowd. Jamie joined in, bouncing on his feet as he applauded. He wasn’t altogether sure what was going on, but he had two cups of beer in his belly and he was buzzing all over and the atmosphere was nothing short of infectious.

The drums began again, a faster rhythm. The people cheered and began to come together, bare feet pounding on the bare earth as they danced.

“C’mon!” Jamie grabbed the Doctor’s arm and tugged him towards the dancers, beer sloshing on the ground. “Dance with me.”

“Oh, oh dear,” stammered the Doctor. “I don’t think I know the steps –” Jamie’s hands were in his, warm and rough.

“Does it matter?” Jamie called over the cacophony of drums and voices.

“I, I don’t know –”

“ _Dance_ with me!”

“Oh my goodness,” said the Doctor, and he did.


	45. Raking Leaves (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](keatulie.tumblr.com).

“Having fun?” The Doctor peeped around the stone archway.

“You know I’m not.” Jamie straightened his back and adjusted his grip on the rake.

“Well, I, I brought you some cocoa.” The Doctor sidled in, a steaming mug clasped in his hands.

“Thanks.” Jamie leaned the rake against a pillar and accepted the cocoa. It was curiously chilly in this part of the TARDIS. The Doctor had said something about the bio-mechanical something or other needing to be kept cold. Secretly, Jamie wondered if the heating was broken.

“You’re doing a splendid job,” said the Doctor, inspecting the neat piles of leaves.

“Aye, course I am.” Jamie sipped his cocoa. His pride faded as quickly as it had come. “Ach. Why’d you even have trees growing in the TARDIS?”

“It’s simple, really,” said the Doctor. “I’ll, ah, explain later.”

“Oh aye, course you will.”

“Not the most efficient system, I admit.” The Doctor scuffed a foot on the leaf-strewn floor. “The leaves, ah, clog up the tachyonic filters.”

“It’d go a lot faster if you helped,” Jamie said into his mug.

“I’m terribly busy.” The Doctor fiddled with his hands.

“Oh aye, aye.” Jamie nodded. “You’re off doing science with Zoe.”

“Well, yes,” said the Doctor.

“It’s no’ about saddling me with all the heavy work, then?”

“Of course not. It’s –” The Doctor broke off, and sighed. “Well, well what if it was? This sort of thing’s what you’re good for.”

“Good for?” said Jamie, ears pricking up.

“Good at,” said the Doctor. “I meant, ah, good _at_.”

Which, Jamie thought, wasn’t all that much better, but he’d take it, for now. “Aye, well, you’d best be gettin’ on with your science and all.” He set the mug down upon a bench.

“Quite,” said the Doctor.

“And I’ll be gettin’ on with what I’m good at.”

“I didn’t mean it, ah, like that –”

“It’s alright.” Jamie picked up the rake and waved him away. “You be off.”

The Doctor gave him a hurt sort of look, and shambled away. The moment his back was turned Jamie dropped the rake and reached for a handful of dry leaves.

“What? Oh no!” cried the Doctor as Jamie grabbed him. “Jamie! _Eeek_! No! What are you doing?”

“Showin’ you what I’m good for,” said Jamie, forcing leaves down the Doctor’s collar.

“Well, stop it!” huffed the Doctor. “It itches!”

“Good,” said Jamie. Squirming, the Doctor wriggled out of his grip and tried to flee, but Jamie caught him around the waist and said, “oh, no you don’t.” He shoved the Doctor face first into the leaf pile.

Leaves billowed across the floor as the Doctor flailed, and rolled over, and glowered. “Well, really!”

“You brought it on yourself,” Jamie chuckled.

The Doctor pouted. Then all of a sudden his hand closed around Jamie’s ankle and tugged hard, and Jamie stumbled –

“Hey!”

“Oh, oh get off me!”

– And unbalanced, falling bodily atop the Doctor with a yelp.

“Ach, you – hey!” The Doctor had grabbed some leaves and was doing his very best to put them down Jamie’s shirt. “Stop it!”

“ _You_ stop it!”

“The hell I will!” Jamie flung a handful of leaves into the Doctor’s face. The Doctor squeaked – and tickled him. “Hey – no!” Jamie cried, laughing. “No no no –” He struggled, and wriggled, and rolled off the Doctor onto his back, landing on the leaves with a crackle, gasping for breath.

They lay there, laughing, catching their breaths, quiet. “Ach,” said Jamie, sitting up. “Look at the mess you made.”

“ _I_ made!” said the Doctor. “Now, you started it!”

“I’ll have to do it all over again,” Jamie sighed.

“Oh, oh alright.” The Doctor struggled up, leaves clinging to his hair. “I’ll help.”

“You rake.” Jamie clapped him on the shoulder and rose to his feet. “I’m gonnae finish my cocoa.”


	46. Scary Movies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“Ach, don't go in there,” Jamie said. “Hey!” he called out at the screen. “The other way!”

“Jamie, be quiet,” hissed the Doctor.

“Why?” Jamie said. “It's no' my fault if none of these people know what to do when a monster's after them. Aw, now the lad's goin' after her! They're as bad as each other.”

“They're fictional, Jamie.”

“Eh?”

“It's not real.”

“Well, I know _that_ ,” said Jamie, uncourteously loudly. “I'm no' thick. No' like that lot.” He nodded at the screen. “They're all gonnae get eaten.”

“Hmph,” the Doctor said. “Be quiet and eat your popcorn.”

“I ate it already.” Jamie showed him the sugary crumbs at the bottom of his tub.

“Then eat my popcorn.” The Doctor thrust his popcorn at Jamie, who eagerly accepted it.

“Really? Thanks!” He shoved a handful in his mouth. “Look out! It's over there!”

Hunching down in his seat, the Doctor pushed his 3D glasses up his nose and pretended not to notice the disapproving glowers they were getting. It was hardly Jamie's fault he wasn't familiar with cinema etiquette, after all.

The sound from the film dropped, and to his surprise Jamie fell silent with it. On the screen, everything was very – very – quiet.

With a dreadful howl, an apparition seemed to burst from the screen, all clawed fingers and white ghostly face. The Doctor cried out and grabbed ahold of Jamie, clinging on tight, and Jamie's stolen popcorn went flying as he grabbed for the Doctor, all but climbing into his lap in his eagerness to get away. They clung to each other, screaming in terror, and –

– the cinema door slammed shut behind them, a firm, non-verbal, _and **stay** out_! At once, Jamie wheeled on the Doctor. “This is _your_ fault!”

“My fault?” The Doctor blinked in innocent astonishment. “How's it my fault?”

“You were the one doin' all the screamin'!”

“You were screaming too!”

“I wasnae!”

“You were so!”

“I wasnae.” Jamie folded his arms. “I wasnae _scared_. I was just – just makin' sure _you_ weren't too scared.”

“I wasn't scared at all,” said the Doctor hotly. “I was just a little, ah, startled.”

“You were screamin' the place down!”

“Well, you were the one who talked over the film,” said the Doctor.

“Aye, so?” said Jamie. “I wasnae sayin' anything that wasnae true. Ach.” He waved a hand. “I lost my popcorn.”

“I think you'll, ah, find it was _my_ popcorn.”

“You gave it me,” Jamie said. “And I lost it.”

He gave the Doctor such a sorry, beseeching sort of look that after a moment's dithering, he gave in. “Oh, oh alright,” he said. “I'll buy you some more. Come on.” He patted Jamie on the shoulder and ambled towards the foyer. “We'll find another film.”

“Oh aye?”

“Something a bit more, ah, gentle.”

“Oh, aye. So you'll no' be scared.”

“Quite.”


	47. Trick Or Treat (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).
> 
> A very fluffy sequel to [At First Sight](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8157965).

“Oh, now aren’t you just the cutest?” Standing on her doorstep, the lady clapped her hands to her face in glee. “What are you supposed to be, a Martian?”

“Actually, she’s a, ah, Alpha Centauran princess,” said the Doctor.

“’M a princess,” Tessa echoed

A blank look.

“I _told_ you no-one would get it,” Jamie muttered.

“Well, you make a very sweet Martian!” said the housewife. Tessa thrust out her plastic pumpkin, the false arms on her costume flapping. “Here you go, honey.” She dropped in a handful of wrapped sweeties.

The Doctor eyed the contents of the pumpkin and gave Tessa a gentle nudge. She gave her pumpkin a shake, putting on a sad, puppy-eyed look that Jamie was sure the Doctor had taught her, much as be denied it.

“Oh, you cheeky thing! Here you go.” A second handful of sugary confections.

“Now, what do you say?” said Jamie.

“Thank you,” said Tessa.

“Yes, thank you,” the Doctor echoed with a cheeky grin. Jamie gave the woman an apologetic wave.

“Ye need to stop doin’,” he said as they processed down the pavement, Tessa clutching the pumpkin proudly to her puffy chest. “It’s no’ polite. And she’ll no’ eat all that.”

“I will!”

“No, ye won’t. Your stomach’s too wee, eh?”

“Well, we shall just have to help her, shan’t we?” The Doctor grinned.

“Och, you’re a bad man.”

Her pumpkin dangling from her elbow, Tessa lifted her arms. “Up!”

“What?” said Jamie. “You’re no’ tired already, are you? Och, now don’t give me that look. Ah, c’mere.” He lifted her beaming off the ground. “You’re gettin’ heavy.”

Rooting through her pumpkin, secure in Jamie’s arms, Tessa said, “I wan’ chocolate.”

“Then we shall find you some.” The Doctor clapped his hands together, eying the nearby houses. “Hmm.”

“You’re spoilin’ her again,” Jamie warned out of the corner of his mouth.

“And why shouldn’t I?” said the Doctor. “It is Halloween.”

“Only cause you brought us here!” Tessa pressed a sweetie to his mouth. “Oh, for me?”

“That house, I think.” The Doctor pointed with his umbrella and trotted away.

Later, they lay snuggled in the TARDIS, Tessa curled between them, candy wrappers strewn across the quilt and the floor. “Oh, my,” said the Doctor. “Goodness me, that was a lot of cholate.”

“I told you we ought to have stopped after the place givin’ out the full sized bars,” said Jamie.

“What would’ve been the fun in that? Eh, Tessa? Hm?” He rolled over. “Are you asleep, poppet?”

Tessa sighed.

“I might join her.” Jamie closed his eyes. “Mmm. Good-night.”

“More for me, then.” The Doctor reached for the sweetie pile. 

“Don’t eat all the toffees,” said Jamie without opening his eyes.

“I won’t,” said the Doctor, unwrapping a boiled sweet.

“And leave the chocolate for Tessa.”

“I will!” The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Good grief. What _do_ you take me for? Hm?” Beside him, Jamie was snoring gently. “Ah.”

Clambering off the bed, the Doctor padded across the room for the tartan blanket. “Sleep tight, now,” he said softly as he tucked Jamie and Tessa in. “Sweet dreams.”


	48. Haunted House (Two + Jamie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com) and [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

On the table, the walkie-talkie crackled. “Doctor? Are you there? I’m inside.”

“Jamie?” The Doctor fumbled for the walkie-talkie. “Are you alright? Is it –”

“All quiet,” said Jamie. “Looks empty. I can see, erm – there’s stairs goin’ up and there’s a kitchen here. The wallpaper has ducks on it.”

“No ghosts, I take it?” said the Doctor, his mouth quirking into a smile. Mentally, he chastised himself for his earlier anxiety. It was just an ordinary house. Of course it was.

“Not so’s I can see.” said Jamie. “Shall I take a wee look around?”

“Yes,” said the Doctor. “Yes, ah, stay in touch.”

“Will do, aye. I’m just gonnae –” 

Silence. The line fizzled.

“Jamie? Is everything alright?”

“Aye, it’s fine,” said Jamie. “Just saw something sort of weird.”

The Doctor felt a pang of unease. “What sort of something?”

“There’s footprints here,” said Jamie. “In the dust.”

“Where do they go?”

“Past the kitchen – on down the passage,” said Jamie. “I cannae see, it’s too dark down there. I’m gonnae follow them.”

“Yes, do that.” The Doctor toyed with the walkie-talkie, wondering if perhaps he shouldn’t have sent Jamie in alone.

“Past the kitchen,” Jamie was saying. “Erm, there’s another door here.” A distant rattling. “No, that’s a cupboard. Footprints keep goin’ till – hey.”

“What?” said the Doctor. “Hey, what?”

“They stopped.”

A cold chill ran down the Doctor’s spine. “Stopped?”

“The footprints, they just stop here,” said Jamie. “I dinnae see anywhere to – there’s no’ a door here. How – oh.”

“What is it?”

“There’s words,” said Jamie. “On the wall.”

“Well, what does it say?”

“How should I know?” said Jamie. “It’s –” 

Silence.

“What is it?”

“I think it’s blood.”

The line crackled. Something creaked. 

“It’s warm.”

“What?”

“The blood. It’s warm.”

A dreadful, clutching numbness gripped him. The walkie-talkie trembled in his hand. “Jamie, get out of there.”

“I thought you wanted me tae look around?”

“Never mind that. Get out of that house, now.”

“But –” A buzzing silence. “D’you hear that?”

“No – no, I don’t hear anything. Jamie, please –”

“I can see stairs goin’ down. I think it’s comin’ from down in the cellar.”

“Jamie, get _out_ – come back to me, where it’s safe –”

“I’m just gonnae take a look.” He was walking. The Doctor could hear the floor creaking. He couldn’t hear any other sounds. “I’ll only be a moment.”

Jamie, no –” A noise – a door opening. A footstep. “Jamie?”

The line went dead.

“Jamie?” Silence. “Jamie?” He shook the walkie-talkie. “Jamie, are you there? Can you hear me?”

Nothing. He took the walkie-talkie from his ear and stared at its grey, grimy buttons. For a single, solitary moment, he wavered.

Then at a run, he made for the door.


	49. What do you mean you’re not attractive whatthefuck (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com) and [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“We all ready, then?” said Jamie.

“Hm? OH, yes.” The Doctor was busy at the console, and he hadn’t looked up from his work when Jamie walked into the TARDIS. “I was just, ah – well, you know.”

Jamie looked at the array of switches and levers and dials that made up the TARDIS console. “No’ really.” He shrugged, and smiled. The Doctor didn’t smile back. “Is everything alright?”

“What? Yes, yes of course.” The Doctor dusted down his coat. “You, ah. Took your time.”

“I was just sayin’ goodbye to Jasmin,” said Jamie. “Erm. Sorry?”

“No, no, it’s – ah.” The Doctor twisted his fingers together anxiously, staring down at a twitching dial on the console. “I heard you talking earlier.”

“Your heard us talkin’?” Jamie was drawing a bit of a blank. They’d talked a lot, over the past few days. Never about anything upsetting. “Talkin’ about what?”

“About – well, ah, about – she asked you to, ah –”

And then all at once, the conversation in question came flooding back. “Oh, aye.” Jamie rubbed the back of his head, a little sheepish. “That. I, erm. I didnae know you were listenin’.” Not that it would have made any difference. True, this was a little embarrassing, but he couldn’t think why the Doctor was so agitated. “It was sweet of her to ask,” he added.

“You weren’t tempted, then?” said the Doctor.

“Tempted?” Jamie stared at him, trying to make sense of what he was saying. “Tempted to stay here? With her?”

“Well, were you?” said the Doctor.

“What?” said Jamie. “No!”

“Not even a little?” said the Doctor in a small voice.

Jamie laughed. He couldn’t help it. This was all too ridiculous for words. “You really think I’m just gonnae run off and leave you for some girl I met last week?”

“Well, I, I,” stammered the Doctor. “It – wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Why would I do that?” said Jamie.

“I don’t know,” said the Doctor, not looking him in the eye. “She’s a very attractive young lady,” he added quietly.

“You’re very attractive!” said Jamie, grinning, almost laughing, but at the look on the Doctor’s face his smile faded. “You thought I was gonnae say yes.” It wasn’t a question.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you,” said the Doctor. “You could have a good life, here – and, and I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to be with someone more like you.”

“What’re – do you – _what_?” said Jamie. “What’re you on about?”

“It’s just that I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to be with another human being,” said the Doctor.

Jamie rubbed a hand over his face, struggling to process what he was hearing. “D’you want me to leave or something?”

“What? No!” said the Doctor. “Of course not.”

“Then why’re you bein’ like this?” said Jamie. This was starting to hurt, a bit.

“I suppose I just wanted to make sure _you_ were sure,” said the Doctor. “Before we, ah, take off.”

“You wanted tae make sure I was –”

“You did say you’d think about it,” the Doctor pointed out.

“I was just bein’ polite, I didnae _mean_ it –” That was enough. Resolved, Jamie marched across the control room and took the Doctor’s face in his hands. “You old daftie,” he said, and kissed him soundly.

“Ah,” said the Doctor.

“I’m no’ leaving you,” said Jamie, their lips a hair’s breadth apart.

“Jamie –”

“I mean it. You’ll no’ get rid of me that easy.”

“Oh, my,” said the Doctor. “I, I’m sorry.”

“Aye, you’d better be,” said Jamie. He touched their foreheads together. “And you’re very attractive.”

“Oh, dear.”

“I love you.”

The Doctor’s arms wrapped around his waist. “Good gracious. I, ah – me too.”

“Shall we be off, then?”

“One last thing,” said the Doctor, and kissed him.


	50. Oh… sorryomgwrongnumber (Zoe/Isobel, Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com/).

“Oh, um,” said Zoe. “Sorrywrongnumber.” She slammed down the phone.

There was a moment’s silence. “What was _that_?” said Jamie.

Zoe looked at him, sheepish. “I panicked.”

“You _panicked_?” Jamie folded his arms. “You’ve faced down cybermen and daleks and now you’re too scared to call up a lass on the telephone and ask her to have dinner with you?”

“I didn’t say I was _scared_ ,” said Zoe. “I just realised that maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all.” 

It wasn’t logical. You needed a solid grounding for a relationship. You needed to get to know the other person, all of their strengths and drawbacks, you needed to be absolutely _certain_ you were compatible. You couldn’t proposition someone you’d only known for a few days. It was silly, and irrational.

“Aye, have it your way,” said Jamie with a sigh. “But you’ll have to tell the Doctor you changed your mind.”

“Fine,” said Zoe.

“I’m sure he willnae mind. It’s no’ as if we travelled halfway across the galaxy just so you could ask Isobel out.”

“Shut up.”

“You go ahead and tell him you were too scared, I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Zoe opened her mouth to explain again that she _wasn’t_ scared, that wasn’t it at all – but just then, the phone began to ring.

They stared at it, ringing away on the table. “That’ll be Isobel,” said Jamie.

“Um.”

“Are you gonnae answer her?”

“No.”

“Alright. _I’ll_ answer her,” said Jamie, and before she could protest he picked up the phone and said, “hello, there!”

“Jamie!” Zoe hissed.

“Aye, that was Zoe,” said Jamie. “Aye, she’s just here.”

“ _Jamie_!” She made a grab for the phone. He held it out of reach. “Don’t!”

“She was wonderin’ if –”

“Jamie, give that _here_ ,” she said, and wrestled the phone from his hands. “ _Give_ it!” By the time she got it off him, she was half expecting Isobel to have hung up. “Um. Hello?”

“Zoe?” said Isobel. “What was all _that_ about?”

“Oh, that was just Jamie,” said Zoe. “Being, um, Jamie.”

“I wasn’t _really_ expecting to hear from you again,” said Isobel. “I thought you’d gone off in your police box for good.”

“We, um, came back,” said Zoe. Jamie was looking at her expectantly.

“Oh?” said Isobel. “More trouble, is there?”

“No, actually,” said Zoe. “We just sort of – stopped off for a visit.”

“Ohhhh,” said Isobel. “So it’s a social call?”

“I suppose so,” said Zoe. “I’m calling – well, I’m calling for personal reasons.”

“Oh?”

Well, she supposed, it was now or never. Even if it wasn’t very logical. “Wouldyouliketogoouttodinner?”

“ _What_ was that?”

“I said, would you like to go out to dinner,” said Zoe. “With me?”

“Oh, sure!” said Isobel, practically purring down the phone. “I’m free tonight.”

“Really?”

“You can pick me up at eight,” said Isobel. “Be sure to dress up. Bye!” _Click_ went the line. Zoe stared at the phone, dumbfounded at how painless it had been.

“That wasn’t so scary,” said Jamie, leaning against the table. “Was it?”

“Shut up, Jamie.”

“Aye, alright.”


	51. I don’t want this to be just physical (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“Wait!” cried the Doctor.

“Mmmph?” Pulling away, Jamie stared down at him. He was flushed, panting, his hair sticking up at all sorts of angles, completely naked, and there was nothing the Doctor wanted to do more than keep on kissing him, but he had to do this.

“I don’t want this to be – well, to just be physical,” he said.

“Eh?” said Jamie. “What’re you on about?”

“Us,” said the Doctor. “I think we ought to, ah, talk about this.”

“What, right now?” said Jamie. “Can’t it wait till after?”

Doing it after, the Doctor thought, would rather defeat the object. “It’s just that –” Dropping his head, Jamie pressed soft, wet kisses along the line of his jaw. “Ah. It’s just – well, I want you to know –” he stammered.

“Shush, you,” Jamie murmured, kissing his neck.

The Doctor whimpered, forced himself to gather his thoughts. “I just, I wanted to tell you that – that I really do care about you,” he said. “So, so much – and –”

“Is that all?” Drawing back, Jamie looking him in the eye. “I know _that_.”

“You do?”

“Course I do,” said Jamie. “Can we no’ just get on with it?”

“Oh, yes,” said the Doctor, reaching for him eagerly. “Good show.”


	52. I’m sorry I ended up falling for you (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [uighean](http://uighean.tumblr.com/).

“I’m sorry I ended up fallin’ for you,” said Jamie.

“You don’t have to apologise,” said the Doctor, wringing his hands. “I, I’m flattered. Really –”

“Och, _don’t_ ,” said Jamie. “I don’t want tae talk about this any more.

“I really am very fond of you – you know that –”

“I _know_ ,” said Jamie. “I know what you’re gonnae say. It’s alright. I’ve thought about this plenty. I know you care about me, but you dinnae feel – not the way I do. We’re friends. I dinnae mind. I like what we have.”

“Oh,” said the Doctor. “Well, then.” That was a fairly accurate summary of what he’d been going to say and he was glad they were on the same page – but the way Jamie had spoken, the look on his face, told him that he _did_ mind and that things _weren’t_ alright. Maybe they’d never be alright again.

“I’m sorry for makin’ things weird,” said Jamie, sullen.

“You really haven’t,” said the Doctor meekly. He looked at his hands. He ought to change the subject. Things were sure to be awkward for a while, but given some time they could move past this. Couldn’t they?

“It’s just,” said Jamie. “Do you think – could you ever –”

And oh, no, no, that was a dangerous question. “No,” the Doctor said quickly – far too quickly. Jamie looked at him with big, sad eyes, and he cursed himself. “No, I – I didn’t mean it like that.” He took a deep breath. “We’re very different, Jamie. I, well – we aren’t even the same species.”

“I don’t care about that,” said Jamie.

“Oh, but it _matters_ ,” said the Doctor. “I care for you, I, I _do_ , but I couldn’t – love you.” Jamie winced. “Not the way you –”

“Stop it,” said Jamie.

“No, I – I think perhaps you ought to hear this.” The Doctor touched his clasped hands to his lips in thought. “Jamie, I’m four hundred and fifty years old.”

“Aye, so?” said Jamie.

“So – well, in another century I’ll be five hundred and fifty,” said the Doctor.

Jamie shrugged. “And?”

“And – and in another hundred years you’ll be – well, you’ll be –”

“Oh.” Jamie’s face softened as he understood, or tried to. “I don’t care about that.”

“Well, I do!” said the Doctor.

“D’you really think about that a lot?” said Jamie.

“I try not to,” said the Doctor.

The trouble was, the truth – the real truth, the truth he could never tell Jamie – was that there _was_ something there, something between them. A spark, buried deep down inside himself, that he could nurture, if he wanted. But he couldn’t. When he thought of loving Jamie, all the breath went out of him. The thought alone was like a knife twisting in his chest. If he let those feelings in, if he let himself fall in love – then one day, one day very soon, he would have to watch Jamie die, slowly and painfully, with no regeneration, nothing but a long, agonising silence. 

“I’m not a human being, Jamie,” he said. “My people are far older than yours – we, we _feel_ things differently. Time, love – concepts like that, they mean something quite, quite different to you than they do to me.”

“So, what,” said Jamie. “You’re sayin’ I’m no’ good enough for you?”

“No!” said the Doctor, aghast. “No – oh, no. If anything I’m saying you could do better.”

“ _Better_?”

“You ought to be with someone who can spend the rest of their life with you,” said the Doctor. “You deserve that, and – and I can’t give you that.”

“I don’t want that,” said Jamie.

“You will,” said the Doctor. And he meant it kindly – but maybe that was the problem.

“You don’t know anything about what I want!” snapped Jamie. “Ye keep sayin’ you – but then you say things like that, and you just don’t get it, do you?”

“Jamie –”

“You’re _everything_.”

The Doctor stared at him in mute horror. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to make this _right_.

“I don’t want to talk about this any more.” Jamie pushed past him, out of the control room, into the ship.

The door closed behind him, and the Doctor stood alone in the control room, the console humming gently in flight behind him, wondering what to do now.


	53. Kiss Me (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [uighean](http://uighean.tumblr.com/).

“Kiss me?”

It was just as well, the Doctor supposed, that he couldn’t make out the look on Jamie’s face in the low light. It was probably quite something. A virtual stranger had dragged him out of his nice warm house in the middle of the night – and now he here he was demanding kisses? Really, it was small wonder Jamie didn’t respond with his fists.

“I thought you wanted tae talk,” Jamie said slowly.

“Well, I – I did,” the Doctor stammered.

He’d been going to talk. He’d played this conversation out so many times in his head, imagined himself explaining everything oh so clearly, oh so calmly, and Jamie understanding, agreeing – but he hadn’t realised how strange it would be.

It had taken so long to get a clear grip on Jamie’s location. In the end he’d had to sacrifice temporal proximity for the sake of geographical accuracy. From Jamie’s perspective, it had been over a year since they’d parted ways on Culloden moor. He’d forgotten how long that was, for a human.

And from his perspective it had been so much longer, so many years. He hadn’t anticipated the effect seeing Jamie again would have on him. Here he was, blushing and stammering like a nervous schoolboy.

“Are you gonnae talk or just stand there all night?”

“I don’t know what to say,” the Doctor confessed. “I – oh, dear. Do you trust me?”

Jamie lifted his chin. “Aye.”

“Then kiss me.”

Stepping forward, into the golden lamplight from the window, Jamie gave him a long, hard look, and the Doctor braced himself for rejection. But then Jamie seemed to shrug. He reached out, taking the Doctor’s face in his hands.

Their lips touched, just-barely brushing together, and the Doctor willed himself not to kiss back. He was determined not to force anything on Jamie that he didn’t want, here, in this moment. If only he could have found the words to explain.

Jamie pulled back, his hands still warm on the Doctor’s face, and looked at him. His tongue darted out, wetting his lips. He dipped his head forwards and kissed the Doctor again, longer, firmer, his lips parting; and the Doctor reached for him, putting a steadying hand on the back of Jamie’s neck.

It wasn’t strictly necessary, but this level of contact, this intimacy, would make what he had to do that much easier, that much more painless. He reached out not with his hands but with his mind, and if Jamie noticed the Doctor’s presence inside his head he didn’t react, didn’t stop kissing.

The blocks the Time Lords had placed in Jamie’s mind were like metal screens, shuttering away his memories, secure, seemingly impenetrable, but if you knew the way, if you applied the right pressure, they could be made to simply – dissolve.

Jamie almost choked. “Mmm,” he said, pulling away.

“Oh,” said the Doctor softly, reluctant. He’d been enjoying the kissing.

But even better was the look on Jamie’s face as he understood what was happening. His eyes were wide with shock and confusion – fear, even – but as it sank in that confusion turned to amazement. His lips moved silently, echoing words long forgotten, now remembered. He gasped out a joyful laugh.

In all the years since they’d parted, the Doctor hadn’t heard anything so wonderful.

Their eyes met, Jamie gazing at him with new understanding, new feeling. “Hell of a kiss, Doctor,” said Jamie, his voice rough. 

“I’m sorry,” said the Doctor. “I wanted to, to explain, but – mmph.”

Jamie kissed him again, all but devouring his mouth in his desire to get closer, _more_ , and the Doctor’s hearts leapt. He’d forgotten how good this was – how good _they_ were.

“Ye came back,” Jamie said softly.

“Of course I did.”

“Took your time.”

“Well,” said the Doctor. No need to explain the difficult parts, yet. That could wait. “Well, you know how the TARDIS is.”

“Aye.” A smile was spreading across Jamie’s face, a beautiful, brilliant smile. He began to laugh again, resting his forehead against the Doctor’s, so warm and so close and so happy. “Shall we be off, then?”

“Yes,” said the Doctor. “Yes, let’s.”


	54. I'm fine (Jamie/Victoria)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com/).

“I’m _fine_.”

“Jamie, you’re shot!” cried Victoria. “Won’t you –”

“Ach, it just clipped me,” said Jamie. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re bleeding,” said Victoria.

“It’s no’ as bad as it looks.” Jamie pressed a hand over the wound, wincing at the searing ache there, feeling the pulse of blood oozing between his fingers. “I’ll be fine. I –” He staggered, bracing himself against the wall with his good arm. God, he was getting dizzy.

He had to keep it together. They were so lost, in this strange, broken place. Victoria needed him. He couldn’t be hurt, not badly. He just _couldn’t_.

“Let me look,” said Victoria, pawing at him. “Please, let me look. I can help.”

“I can handle it,” he gasped out.

“Jamie,” Victoria said, using that firm, schoolmistressly voice she saved for special occasions. “Let me look.”

He relented. She made him sit, and held his aching arm, bloodying her hands. At her touch pain lanced through him, and he hissed. “Careful!”

“Oh, Jamie,” she said mournfully.

“It’s no bad,” he said.

“I’ll bandage it,” she said. Fabric tore with a nasty ripping sound.

“Och, don’t!” he said. “You’ll ruin it.”

“So?” she said, tearing a long strip off her dress.

“It’s a nice dress. You shouldn’t spoil it.”

“It’s too late now, isn’t it?” she said. “Take off your shirt.”

“What? No.”

“Jamie,” she said sternly, and he couldn’t refuse. Wincing at the pain, he dragged his shirt over his head and sat shivering, trying not to whimper as she wound the makeshift bandage around his arm.

“There.” She pulled it tight. “Is that better?”

“A bit.” He tested his arm, and winced. “I can manage.” Picking up his shirt, he tried to get it back on with shaking hands.

“Let me,” she said, plucking the shirt from his unresisting fingers. “Arms up, now.”

With her help, he forced his arms back into his bloodied shirt and sat holding his wound. “Thank you.”

“Any time.” Victoria touched his shoulder.

“You’d be a good nurse.”

“Maybe,” she said. “One day.”

He took a deep breath. “We should move,” he said. “Before they come back.”


	55. I’m so hungry I could eat a— stop looking at me like that in public (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/).

“I’m so hungry I could eat a – stop lookin’ at me like that in public.”

“I wasn’t!” The Doctor averted his eyes. “I, ah – I don’t know what you mean.”

“Aye, you do,” said Jamie. “You were givin’ me bedroom eyes. _Again_.” He wouldn’t normally mind, but this was a fancy sort of place, full of fancy people. They were sitting out on a thing called a veranda, with a view out over the blue mountains and a frilly umbrella over their heads. This wasn’t the sort of palce you could get away with ogling like that.

“I most certainly was not!” said the Doctor. “I was just – enjoying the view.”

“Of course you were,” said Jamie. “Well, I’m tryin’ tae enjoy my cake.” He dug in.

And really, the Doctor thought, how was he supposed to _not_ look, when Jamie would keep licking whipped cream off his fingers – not to mention making _that_ noise. He toyed with his fork, his own cake sitting untouched.

Jamie glanced up, caught him looking. His tongue darted out, licking a dab of cream off his lip. “Honestly, I cannae take you anywhere.”

“Ah, I, ah,” the Doctor stuttered. “I could say the same to you.”

“Eh?” Jamie took another bite, licking chocolatey icing off his fingers. It was fancy cake, too, with three layers in three different shdes of chocolate, and it was a shame to gobble it up like this but he really _was_ famished.

“You could use a fork,” the Doctor pointed out.

“Takes all the fun out of it,” Jamie said, and began chasing a dribble of chocolate sauce down his wrist with his tongue. Good grief. The Doctor squirmed in his seat. Jamie wiped his mouth, and quirked an eyebrow. “This is really gettin’ to you, eh?”

“Ah,” said the Doctor.

Rolling his eyes, Jamie glanced up and down the veranda, to be sure no-one was looking. It was quiet. The waiters, in their crisp white suits, were staring steadfastly _not_ at the guests. Well, he thought, what the hell. Half-standing, he leaned across the table, and –

“Oh!” cied the Doctor, so startled at being kissed he almost fell out of his chair. “Mmph.” Jamie’s mouth was soft and chocolatey, and goodness, he could do this all day, cake be damned.

Jamie pulled away, all too soon. “Ohh,” moaned the Doctor, crestfallen.

“Later.” Jamie nodded at the Doctor’s untouched plate. “Eat up.” He picked up his cake fork with a smirk.


	56. You okay? You seem a little off today (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com/).

“Are you alright?” said Jamie. “You seem a little off today.”

“Hm? Of course I’m alright!” snapped the Doctor. “I’m perfectly fine. Why wouldn’t I be alright?” He went back to staring at the TARDIS console, a deep frown on his face, tapping a dial absently.

“Well,” said Jamie, “it’s just, you’ve been doin’ that for almost an hour now.”

“Doing what?”

“Erm.” Jamie rubbed the back of his neck. “Nothing much?”

“I’m, I’m getting us ready to land,” the Doctor said. He poked the dial again. The needle didn’t move.

“No you’re not. You’ve just been lookin’ at the controls,” said Jamie. “For an hour.”

“It hasn’t been an hour!”

“It has.” Jamie held up his watch. “I timed you.”

“Oh,” said the Doctor. “Well, I, I’m sure I must be getting somewhere.”

“Sometimes you walk around and stare at a different bit,” Jamie offered. “But, erm, I dinnae think we’re gettin’ anywhere.”

The Doctor stroked his chin. The dial seemed to be troubling him acutely. Jamie covered it with his hand. “Is there something wrong with the TARDIS?”

“What? No, no. It’s, ah, in perfect working order, or thereabouts.”

“Is there,” Jamie wondered how best to phrase it. “Is there something wrong with you?”

“ _What_?” The Doctor faced him, mystified.

“Are you sick?”

“Don’t be absurd,” said the Doctor. “I don’t, ah, get sick. There’s only three diseases in the whole galaxy my people can even contract.”

“You look a wee bit peaky.” Jamie touched his forehead. “You’re all clammy, Doctor.”

The Doctor shrugged him off. “Piffle. I’m not sick. Be quiet, now, you’re hurting my concentration.”

“Aye, if you say so.” Jamie leaned back against the console, wondering what to try next.

“Although,” the Doctor said, “I suppose I was exposed to Lethian flu last week.”

“Soooo,” said Jamie, “could you have that?”

“Out of the question,” said the Doctor.

“Aye? Why’s that?”

“I’ve already had it,” the Doctor said. “Nothing to worry about. Humans can’t get it, you see. It only affects your, ah – there’s a part of the brain, that it – that you don’t – can’t seem to remember what it’s called.” He rubbed his temples. “I, ah. Now that I think about it, it does affect the memory.”

“Oh, aye.” Jamie nodded slowly. “I’m puttin’ you to bed.” He wrapped his arms around the Doctor’s waist and pulled him bodily away from the console.

“Oh, no no!” said the Doctor. “I’m perfectly fine!” He flailed, and then, as Jamie dragged him further away from the controls, went all limp. “I’m, I’m sure it’ll come back to me any minute,” he said faintly.

“You need to rest,” said Jamie.

“I, I refuse!” The Doctor’s feet dragged along the floor. “Get off me, you great hairy brute!”

“ _That’s_ it,” said Jamie. Adjusting his grip, he heaved the Doctor up and carried him to the door.

“Goodness, you’re strong,” said the Doctor, blinking up at him.

“Aye,” Jamie agreed.

“I suppose.” The Doctor relaxed in his arms. “I suppose it _could_ have been a different strain…”

“Do I need to do anything special?” said Jamie. “For this Lethian flu stuff?”

“I, I,” said the Doctor in a small voice. “I don’t remember.”

“I’ll check the library,” said Jamie.

“Thank you, Jamie,” said the Doctor softly. He was starting to shiver.

“Wee daftie.” Jamie smiled at him. “Don’t worry. I’ll look after you.”


	57. Put some clothes on already, jeez! We have company coming! (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/).

“Put some clothes on, Jamie. We have company coming.

Half rolling over, Jamie squinted up at the Doctor in the bright morning sun. “Do I have to?”

“I dare say the ambassador would be very uncomfortable if you were, ah, naked.” The Doctor patted his bottom. “Hurry up, now.”

“Ach, I meant can I no’ just stay in bed?” Flopping back down, Jamie wrapped his arms tighter around the pillow. He’d not bothered with clothes since the day before last and he was rather enjoying the experience. He was very comfortable. “They’re coming to see _you_.”

“They want to see both of us,” said the Doctor. “To extend their personal thanks – so you _really_ ought to cover up.” Hopping off the bed, he trotted through the archway into the other room.

With a groan, Jamie squirmed around, freeing himself from the tangled covers. Taking two fistfuls, he tugged the sheet up to his neck. “How’s this?”

“Hm?” The Doctor put his head into the bedroom. “Be sensible, Jamie.” His head vanished. “Get dressed and come and help me tidy up.”

Well, Jamie supposed, he’d best play along. He hauled himself out of bed, pulling the sheet with him. He gave it a shake, and looked it over. Close enough.

“All dressed,” he said a moment later, sauntering through the archway with the bedsheet knotted around him.

“Good,” said the Doctor. “Now –” He looked at Jamie properly. “That’s not dressed.”

“Says who?”

“You can’t wear a sheet to meet an ambassador!”

“Why not?” Jamie looked down at himself, and dusted off the sheet. “I thought it was a bit trendy.”

“It’s a bedsheet!” The Doctor flapped a hand at him. “It’s, it’s got stains on it!”

“That’ll be trendy somewhere, ye ken,” said Jamie.

The Doctor scowled, because Jamie was right and he knew it. _Everything_ was trendy somewhere. Stomping across the room, he snatched Jamie’s clothes off the chair, balled them up, and flung them at his face.

“Hey, ow!” said Jamie as his belt buckle caught him in the face.

“Stop being silly and get dressed at once!”

“Ach, _fine_.” Jamie collected his clothes from the floor. “But I’m gonnae grumble the whole time!” he said, waving them at the Doctor.

“Just be polite to the ambassador,” said the Doctor, straightening sofa cushions.

“Be polite to the ambassador,” Jamie muttered to himself as he stomped back to the bedroom. “ _You_ be polite to the ambassador, ye great walkin’ turnip.”

“I heard that!”


	58. How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you? (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”

Jamie puffed out his cheeks in thought. “Well, there’s all the times you’ve called me stupid.”

“Now, now you know perfectly well I don’t mean it like that –”

“Shush, you.” Jamie put a finger to the Doctor’s lips. “And the times when you’ve been too busy talkin’ to the TARDIS to notice me.”

“Oh, really. When have I –”

“This morning, for one.”

The Doctor blinked. “ _Did_ I?”

Jamie nodded grimly.

“Well, well none of that _means_ anything – you know perfectly well how I feel about you!”

“Do I?”

“I, I –” the Doctor stammered.

Jamie broke into a chuckle. “Och, I’m just _teasin_ ’.”

“Oh,” said the Doctor faintly.

Jamie leaned in, pressing him still more firmly against the console. “Might be nice if you said it a wee bit more often, though.”

“Said –”

“I love you,” Jamie said, and kissed his cheek.

“Oh!” The Doctor touched the spot he’d kissed. “I, I love you too.”

A grin spread across Jamie’s face. “Now _that’s_ more like it,” he said, and leaned in for a proper kiss.


	59. Our first date is a picnic on a beach under the stars? Have you swallowed a romance novel? Do I need to call a doctor? (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [uighean](http://uighean.tumblr.com/).

“Our first date is a picnic on a beach under the stars?” Hands on hips, Jamie surveyed the glittering beach. Wheeling on the Doctor, he patted him down, touching his forehead as if checking for a fever. “Have you swallowed a romance novel? Do I need to call a doctor?”

“I’m already a doctor!” the Doctor said, batting his hands away. “And I thought you liked beaches,” he added, a little hurt.

“Oh aye, I do and all,” said Jamie. It was an especially nice beach, too, blue and silky with lots of interesting sea shells. “Just seems a bit too good to be true.”

The Doctor frowned. “What on earth do you mean?”

“You gettin’ us to a nice place for a date,” said Jamie, stretching out his arms. “And on your first go, too! Ach, there’ll be sea monsters crawling out of there any second, you mark my word.”

“This is Delilah 7,” said the Doctor, a touch indignant. “There’s no sea monsters here. No dangerous wildlife at all, for that matter. Not even jellyfish!”

“Ah, I see.” Jamie nodded sagely. “The sea monsters are gonnae invade from another planet.”

“There aren’t going to be any sea monsters!”

“Gia t sea gulls?” said Jamie, sounding almost hopeful.

“Certainly no!” squawked the Doctor. “You, you almost sound like you _want_ this to go wrong.”

“Of course I don’t,” said Jamie. “I just dinnae want to let my guard down right before I get carried off by a giant bird. And that happened to Victoria once, remember,” he said, prodding the Doctor’s chest, “so dinnae say it couldnae happen to me, because it could so.”

“There aren’t going to be any giant sea gulls,” said the Doctor. “Or sea monsters, or jellyfish, or Macra, or Mim, or, or monsters of any kind!”

“That a promise?”

“Yes!”

“An extra special first date promise?”

“I – yes?”

“Hm.” Jamie’s eyes rolled up and down the Doctor, and over to the picnic basket. “What kind of sandwiches did you bring?”

“Smoked salmon?” said the Doctor, his tone pleading.

“Aye, alright,” said Jamie, lightening. “You carry the basket. I’ll find a good spot.” So saying, he ambled down the beach, stepping out of his shoes as he went.


	60. We’re in an abandoned lodge in the middle of nowhere. Sure, you’re totally right, nothing bad could ever happen here. (Jamie, Ben, Polly)

“We’re in an abandoned lodge in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, you’re right, nothing bad could ever ‘appen ‘ere.” Rubbing his hands together against the cold, Ben looked around the room, checking the dark shadows for knife-wielding strangers or marauding aliens.

“At least it’s dry,” piped up Jamie.

“Oi!” Ben pointed an accusing finger at him. “Don’t you dare.”

“I’ve kipped in worse places,” said Jamie with a shrug. He perched on the edge of the worn mattress, bouncing, seemingly finding it to his satisfaction. “You sure you willnae have it?” he said to Polly

Polly shuddered. “I’ll keep Ben company, thanks. Till the Doctor comes back, at least.”

“Suit yourself.” Jamie tugged his knife from his boot and lay down. There, his face turned towards the door, his hand safe on the hilt of his dirk, he was out like a light.

Quiet. Outside a bird called. “Is he _really_ asleep?” said Polly.

“Looks like it,” said Ben. Raising his voice, he said, “oi, Jamie, I like your skirt!”

“Mmm?” sighed Jamie.

“Yeah, he’s asleep alright. Weirdo.”

“I don’t know how he does it.” Polly hugged herself against the chill. “On a night like this!”

“You cold?” said Ben, already slipping off his jacket.

“No, don’t – alright, then,” said Polly with a sigh as he draped it around her shoulders.

Across the room, Jamie stirred in his sleep, hand unconsciously clasping tighter around his dirk. They oughtn’t worry, Ben reflected. After all, they had a knife-wielding stranger of their own now.


	61. I bet I can make you scream my name (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/).

“I bet I can make you scream my name,” Jamie whispered into the Doctor’s ear, sliding his hands around his waist.

The Doctor all but leapt out of his trousers. “JAMIE!” he screeched. “What on earth are you doing?”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” said Jamie, choking back laughter.

“Frightening me half to death!” The Doctor patted himself up and down, all flustered. “Oh, goodness me – stop laughing!”

“Screamin’ my name, eh –”

“What are you playing at, sneaking around?”

“I wasnae sneakin’!” Jamie protested. “I made enough noise coming in.

“Well, I, I was concentrating,” said the Doctor. “I, ah.” He twiddled his screwdriver. “What were you saying?”

“Erm, I _was_ asking you to bed –”

“Oh, my!”

“But if you’re no’ in the mood…”

“I’m in the mood!” protested the Doctor. “I, I’m, of course I’m in the mood.”

“Ah, you’re busy.”

“No, no no!” Flustered, the Doctor fumbled his screwdriver into a pocket. “I can, ah, take a break.” He smoothed down his coat and shot Jamie a grin. “Come in again?”

“Ach, you ruined it.”

“Oh, no!” The Doctor ran his hand down Jamie’s arm. “Do try again. It sounded fun.”

“What I said was, I bet –” Jamie caught the Doctor’s eye, and collapsed into giggles. “It’s no use. You’ve set me off.”

“Oh, oh dear.” The Doctor pouted. “Shall we skip ahead?”

“Aye, let’s,” said Jamie, and kissed him.


	62. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you. (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [uighean](http://uighean.tumblr.com/).

“You see, the flowers only bloom for a single night in a hundred years,” said the Doctor, cupping his hands around the tightly-sealed bud upon the tree trunk, warm from the last of the sun.

“Oh, aye?” said Jamie.

“So it might _seem_ grey now, but in a few minutes – oh, you’ll see!”

“Oh, aye,” Jamie agreed. Evidently he was content to let the Doctor babble. Well, he was hardly about to complain. He did love babbling.

The last dregs of sunlight slipped over the horizon, and the Doctor felt the petals twitch beneath his fingertips. He released the bud and watched in delight as, one by one, the petals unfurled.

In the centre of the flower was the tiniest spark of light, building into a bright, glittering point. All over the forest, a thousand flowers were opening, a thousand tiny golden lights bursting into life, bathing the woods in their glow and their sweet scent.

He hadn’t told Jamie about this part. He’d wanted it to be a surprise, and the reaction didn’t disappoint. He let out a delighted laugh, gazing around and around himself at the glowing flowers, twins to the stars above them.

“There, you see?” said the Doctor, clapping his hands together. “Didn’t I tell you –”

Jamie kissed him.

It was so sudden, and his mouth was so soft, that it quite took the Doctor’s breath away. He was so startled he didn’t even think to close his eyes.

Jamie drew back, his hand on the Doctor’s chest. The Doctor swallowed, and said, “oh, dear.”

“Erm,” said Jamie, stepping away from him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“Jamie –”

“It’s just, you were lookin’ at me like you wanted me to –”

“I –”

“And I thought, with the flowers, maybe you – I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Jamie.” The Doctor clasped his hands together. Poor Jamie looked so stricken, and this was all so silly. It wasn’t as if he’d brought Jamie to the most romantic spatio-temporal location this side of Alpha Centauri by accident. He’d just – got a bit distracted.

Well, there was only one thing to do. He took Jamie’s face in his hands, and kissed him.

“Oh,” said Jamie.

“Oh, indeed,” said the Doctor.

“Do you –”

“Well, of course I do!”

“ _Oh_ ,” said Jamie, and kissed him again.

“Mmm,” said the Doctor, resting their foreheads together. “Jamie?”

“Aye?”

“Will you walk with me?”

“Oh, aye.” Jamie took his hand, and held it tight. “Lead the way.”

There was a spot, if he remembered rightly, where the trees parted, where you got a fabulous view of the stars and of the flowers and the trees. Yes, that would do very nicely. “This way,” he said, leading Jamie deeper into the wood. “You’ll love it.”

And Jamie said, “I think I already do.”


	63. We should cuddle… for warmth. (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“We should cuddle, maybe,” Jamie said, his tone turning tentative as the Doctor blinked at him in utter befuddlement. Really, he couldn’t be more astonished if Jamie had suggested they dance the highland fling. “For warmth.”

“Oh!” said the Doctor, understanding dawning. For warmth. Of course. “Oh, oh yes of course. Ah, very pragmatic. Conserve our body heat.”

“Aye,” Jamie agreed. And without waiting for the Doctor to make a move, he shuffled across the floor, threw an arm across the Doctor’s waist, and tucked their bodies comfortably together.

Wind beat at the windows of the waystation, rattling the panes. The concrete walls kept out the wind, but not the icy chill. Though they’d bundled up as best they could, their breath fogged the air above them. But now warmth was seeping through the Doctor’s body – in more ways than one.

He thought Jamie had gone to sleep, he was so still, so quiet, and he lay scarcely able to breathe lest he disturb him – but then Jamie snuffled, raised his head, and said, “y’alright?”

“Hm?”

“You’re all stiff.”

“ _Am_ I?” the Doctor said, as if he wasn’t hopelessly aware of his own awkwardness. “Oh. Oh, well, I, I’m not used to sharing a bed. It’s, ah, been a long while.”

Jamie’s head flopped back down on their shared pillow. “I’m no’ used to sleeping alone.”

The Doctor looked down at his face, silver-tinted in the moonlight. His breath was tickling the skin of the Doctor’s neck. His eyelashes twitched. Tentatively, the Doctor put an arm around Jamie’s waist. The moment was so quiet, so precious, as if he had a wild bird perched on his fingers.

“Mmm,” said Jamie without opening his eyes. “Are ye still cold?”

“Hm?”

“You’re trembling.”

“Ah,” said the Doctor. “No no, I’m quite warm.”

“Hmm,” said Jamie, and he squished up still closer, fully into the Doctor’s arms. He rested his head on the Doctor’s chest with a sigh.  
It was only the circumstances, the Doctor told himself; the circumstances, and the cold, that was prompting this, this intimacy, this closeness, that he’d been denied for so, so many years. He drew his hand slowly, slowly, up Jamie’s body, and dared to stroke his hair.

Jamie sighed – sighed, and nuzzled into his neck, sleepily affectionate. “S’nice.”

“Yes,” breathed the Doctor, softly, hoarsely, not daring to speak another word.

Jamie’s breathing slowed, turning gentle. His eyelids twitched. Again, the Doctor thought for sure he was asleep, till abruptly he sighed, and opened his eyes, and turned them upwards. “Go to sleep, ye old softie,” he said, mouth twitching into a smile. “Stop watching me and go to sleep.”

“Ah.” The Doctor’s face heated.

“It’s no’ like I’m going anywhere.” Jamie closed his eyes, and gave him a squeeze. “I’ll still be here in the morning. G’night.”

“Good night, Jamie,” the Doctor said. Jamie mumbled in response. The Doctor watched him a moment longer – then, dutifully, closed his eyes.


	64. Your hair keeps getting in my face. (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](keatulie.tumblr.com).

“Plft,” said the Doctor.

“Mmm?” Jamie murmured into the pillow.

“Plffffft,” said the Doctor. “Peh. Shoo.”

“What’s that?”

“Your hair keeps getting in my face.”

Jamie chuckled.

“It’s not funny!”

“How’d you know it’s not your face that’s getting in my hair?” Jamie stroked the back of the Doctor’s hand with his thumb.

“Because that would be silly,” said the Doctor, indignant. “Can we roll over?”

“No,” said Jamie. “Ye just want to be the wee spoon.”

“So what if I do?”

“It’s my turn to be the wee spoon.” Jamie nuzzled the pillow. “You’re always the wee spoon.”

“I am not!”

“You are so. I’m no’ letting you take my turn again, ye hear?”

“Well, ah, fine. I’ll just – plfft.”

“That tickles.”

“It’s getting up me nose!”

“Move your nose.”

“Hmm. Alright,” said the Doctor, and rolled over.

“Hey – Doctor?” said Jamie as the Doctor’s hand slipped from his. “Och, come back.”

“No.”

“I’m no’ cuddling you. It’s no’ your turn to be the wee spoon.”

“You told me to move my nose.” The Doctor sniffed.

“I didnae mean it like that,” said Jamie. “Move your nose back.”

“Shan’t.”

“Big baby.” Jamie aimed a half-hearted kick at him. “Get over here and be the big spoon, before I get cold.”

“Only if you keep your hair out of my nose,” the Doctor giggled.

“I’ll do me best.”

“Alright, then.” The bed creaked. The Doctor flopped an arm around his waist. Jamie took his hand, and squeezed.

“Mm. That’s more like it.” He sighed, feeling the Doctor’s breath on his neck, the Doctor’s toes brushing his calves. “Your feet are cold.”

“Then you’d best, ah, warm them up, hadn’t you?”


	65. Please… you’re scaring me… (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“Please. You’re scaring me.”

The Doctor looked Jamie in the eye, and regretted it at once. He looked down at the tangle of wires, the innards of the environmental control system. A few more twists and it would be ready.

“Doctor,” Jamie said. “Doctor!”

“We have to put a stop to this, before it gets any worse.” The Doctor squeezed his screwdriver tighter. His palms were sweating. “If the mutation keeps spreading –”

“There’s people trapped in there!”

The Doctor’s hands shook, the point of the screwdriver wavering. “It has to be stopped.”

“We’ll stop it,” said Jamie. “We’ll find a way. Just – no’ like this. _Please_.”

Quietly, the Doctor made the last connection.

“This isn’t you.”

It was done. Flick the switch from _stand by_ to _active_ and the contaminated city-zone would be sterilised. A simple alteration to the air-scubbing system. Just a matter of removing a few failsafes, turning up the power. Nothing would survive.

“You don’t want to do this,” Jamie said. “I know you don’t. _You_ know you don’t.”

“You can’t always do what you want.” The Doctor touched the switch. He shouldn’t look up. He looked up.

Jamie met his eye, his gaze firm, resolute, so very determined. “This isn’t what we do.” He reached for the Doctor’s hand, guiding it away from the switch. “We’ll find another way.”

The Doctor breathed deep. He looked at the wires, the death-trap he’d constructed. He weight it up. Sometimes in life, one couldn’t have what one wanted.

He hit the switch.

“No – _don’t_ –” Jamie went quiet. It was already too late, and they both knew it.

The Doctor would never, in all his lives, forget the look in Jamie’s eyes at that moment; not anger so much as abject disappointment. Without another word, Jamie turned and walked away.

“Jamie,” said the Doctor. “Jamie – don’t go – ”

It was already too late.


	66. You have to tell me who did this to you (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“You have to tell me who did this to you.” The Doctor reached for Jamie’s face, meaning to turn his head into the light of the street lamp, to get a better look at his injuries.

Jamie brushed him off. “I’m fine. Stop pawing at me.” He said it with such grit in his voice, as if he was more angry than distressed. He pushed past the Doctor, stumbled through the door into the light and warmth and relative comfort of their safe house.

Wringing his hands, the Doctor followed at Jamie’s heels. “Oh, oh Jamie – let me look, at least.” He caught Jamie by the shoulder. “Please?”

“Ach – fine.” Jamie submitted to his touch.

With careful, questing fingers, the Doctor examined his face. Bruises, freshly dried blood, a long smear of dirt down his cheek. His clothes were torn. “What happened? Who, who –”

“I had a fall,” said Jamie.

“Into somebody’s fists?” The Doctor dithered, torn between a desire to know who’d hurt Jamie and make them pay, and a still more aching desire to make it better. He rushed to the cupboard for medical supplies. “Sit,” he said.

Jamie hissed when the wet cloth touched his cheek, shrinking away, relenting as the Doctor held him in place. The skin underneath the dirt was abraded, not bloodied but nastily grazed. The cloth came away dotted with grit.

“What happened?” he said in a low voice.

Jamie held out a moment longer, his face set, his mouth shut tight. He spoke. “I went down to the factory. To look around, like you said – and some of the boys there – _ah_.” The cloth touched a cut. He hissed, his eyes squeezing shut. “Some of the boys saw me, and they didnae like the way I was looking.”

The Doctor’s hand slowed in its ministrations as he processed what he was hearing. “So they –”

“They saw me off.”

“Oh, no.” The cloth fell away from Jamie’s face. “Oh, no, no –”

“Don’t make that face,” Jamie said. “I’ve had worse. Now and then.” Grimacing, he touched his jaw. “I think they knocked a tooth loose.”

“It’s my fault.” The Doctor fully understood the weight of his words only as he said them. Jamie, all alone, cornered by those street heavies, kicked and beaten and bloodied.

“Whisht,” said Jamie. “Stop looking at me like that. This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Eh?”

“I knew you’d get all – like this.” Jamie waved vaguely at him. “It was my own daft fault for getting caught, and you know it.”

“You were only there because –”

“Because I wanted tae go,” Jamie said. “I knew I was taking a risk, alright?” He touched his jaw again. “Didn’t even see anything useful. Locked doors and empty boxes.”

“I’m so sorry,” the Doctor said.

“Stop apologising and get on with it,” said Jamie. “Ah! Careful.”

“Sorry,” the Doctor repeated, dabbing the last of the dirt from Jamie’s face. He rooted through the box for antiseptic, longing for the TARDIS medical kit. “This might sting.”

“Ow,” said Jamie as the Doctor applied it, gently as he could. “Ow – _ow_ – ach.” He turned his face away, eyes watering. “That burns.”

“No lasting harm done, I – I think,” stammered the Doctor. “But we ought to get you to a dentist.”

“Ach, rub salt in the wound, why don’t you,” said Jamie.

“Is there anything else,” the Doctor. “That is to say – did they –”

Jamie gave him a baleful look. With an air of deepest reluctance, he rolled up his torn shirt and inspected his bruised abdomen.

“Oh, my –”

“They gave me a wee bit of a kicking.” Jamie touched the bruises, and winced. “Feels pretty bad.” He guided the Doctor’s hand to his ribs. “What do you think?”

Tentatively, his lip caught between his teeth with anxiety, the Doctor inspected Jamie’s ribs. “Nothing broken, I, I think.” Gently, he eased Jamie’s shirt back down. “You’ll be alright.” _No thanks to me._

“Stop making sad faces.” Jamie flashed him a crooked smile.

“I –”

“Hush.” Jamie’s fingers brushed his lips. “Will you just –” His arms slipped around the Doctor’s shoulders, drawing him closer.

The Doctor froze, his breath catching in his throat. Gingerly, he put his arms around Jamie’s waist and held him. This close, he could feel Jamie’s body still shaking from his ordeal.

“Thanks,” said Jamie. “For looking after me.”

“Of course,” said the Doctor. He held on a little tighter.


	67. Are you crying? (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“Are you crying?”

“I –” With a shaking hand, the Doctor wiped his eyes. He breathed deep. If he could just – just _think_ , for a moment –

“You are, aren’t you? You’re even weaker than I thought. And you imagined you could control me.”

“Not – not _control_ …” He’d never thought he could control the entity. Not really. But he’d thought he could handle the situation. He’d thought he was doing what was best by releasing it. He hadn’t anticipated it being so strong. He’d never, not even for a moment, imagined it might choose Jamie.

“You thought you could control me,” it jeered. Then, its tone commanding, it said, “look at me.”

The Doctor closed his eyes. Steeling himself, he raised his head and looked at the thing that wore Jamie’s face.

The memories flooded back and for an instant he lived it again. Jamie’s cry of pain and terror took him, as it violated his body, polluted his mind – he’d called out for help, but there’d been no time, it had been too quick, too powerful, all the Doctor could do was watch as –

“I ought to thank you,” it said through Jamie’s lips. There was blood smeared across Jamie’s clothes. Blood spattered on the walls of the cavern. “You set me free.”

“What – what are you,” the Doctor choked out. “What have you done to – Jamie is he still – is he still –”

A sickening grin spread across its face. It wouldn’t answer. There were two possibilities; that Jamie was alive, trapped inside his own head, witnessing the horrors wrought with his hands – or that he was already dead. It was crueller to leave him in ignorance. It was cruelty incarnate.

“Stay here,” it commanded. “Wait. I’ll be back for you.”

Its footsteps rapped across the stone, echoing into the tunnel. The Doctor didn’t move. He knelt on the floor, every breath catching painfully in his throat, his head whirling.

He wasn’t like the others, the humans in their party who’d stood rooted to the ground, awaiting their bloody end. He could resist its commands, if he put his mind to it, if he concentrated. He _would_ resist.

Slowly, he hauled himself to his feet. He wiped his face and turned grimly towards the tunnel mouth. If there was a way to get Jamie back, he would find it. If not, then one way or another, somehow, he would put an end to this.


	68. Put me down! (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com/).

“Oh! Oh, no! Put me down!” cried the Doctor.

Laughing, Jamie dropped him to the floor of the control room, where he stood stamping his feet and straightening his bow tie, looking deeply affronted. “Told you,” he said.

“Bet you can’t pick me up, though,” said Ben, grinning.

“Can so,” said Jamie.

“Oh, yeah. Prove it.”

Jamie looked him up and down, considering. “Aye, alright,” he said, and grabbing Ben by the waist he hauled him up into the air. He was heavier than the Doctor, but not nearly so wriggly.

“Alright, alright,” said Ben. “You proved your point, mate.”

“What did I say?” Smirking, Jamie set him down, and turned to Polly. “You want a go, eh?”

“Why not?” said Polly, and she giggled as Jamie picked her up and spun her around.

“Oooh!” said the Doctor. “My turn.” He held out his arms.

“I already did you,” said Jamie.

“Oh?” said the Doctor.

“Yeah, just now,” said Ben.

“Well,” said the Doctor. “Pick me up again!”

Jamie stared at him. His motives were unfathomable as ever, but it wasn’t as if there was any harm in it. “C’mere,” he said, wrapping his arms around the Doctor, lifting him into the air.

“Wheee!” cried the Doctor, kicking his legs in delight. “Oh, this is rather fun.”

“Aye, so it is.” With a grunt, Jamie set him down.

The Doctor flashed him a wicked grin. “Oh. Tired already?”

“No,” said Jamie, rubbing his arms. “Like I said, I can pick you up easy.”

“Oh, I say,” said the Doctor, plucking his handkerchief from his pocket and fumbling with it.

“Honestly.” Ben jabbed a thumb in their direction. “These two, eh Pol?”

“They’re ridiculous,” said Polly, shaking her head.

Jamie frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means it’s high time we landed.” The Doctor cleared his throat. He pressed some buttons on the console and pulled a big shiny lever. _Thunk_. “Come along!” he said, ambling towards the doors. “I’ll buy you all lunch.”


	69. Quick, blend in! (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/) (and inspired by [this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_a375fMUzVc) from The IT Crowd).

“Quick! Blend in,” cried the Doctor.

Casting about himself, coming up blank, Jamie tugged off his jacket and threw it down on the dry sand. He sat on it heavily and grabbed a discarded magazine from the ground. Beside him, the Doctor kicked off his shoes and sat staring at the sky as if cloud-watching.

It was a bit of a wasted effort, Jamie reflected as he stared at the squat black and white print. Dressed as they were, they’d stand out amidst a crowd of beach goers no matter _what_ they did.

“Is it working?” He risked a glance down the beach. On the tow path, a man in a black suit – even more out of place than them in the heat – was scanning the crowd. His gaze lingered on Jamie for a moment longer than was comfortable. “Doctor. He’s looking over here.”

“Might help if you held your magazine the right way up,” the Doctor said out of the corner of his mouth. 

“Huh? Oh!” Jamie fumbled the magazine over, earning himself some bemused looks from the people around them. He chanced another look at the man in black and saw him stepping down on the sand. “He’s coming this way,” he hissed.

“Oh, dear,” said the Doctor. “If he comes close enough for his facial recognition circuits to kick in, we’re done for.”

“What do we do?” Jamie’s hands were sweating, and it wasn’t the heat. The man in black didn’t scare him, not really – or at least, it hadn’t when he was the only one in danger. There were people all around them, innocent people, women, _children_ , and if that thing spotted its quarry who knew what it might do?

“Keep your head down,” said the Doctor. “That’s it. Right down behind the magazine.”

Jamie turned a page, trying to distract himself from the looming threat. overhead he found a spread of glossy photographs of beaches. People on beaches. Couples on beaches. He took a good long look at the pictures, an idea forming in his head.

“Doctor,” he said slowly. “I’ve an idea as how we can blend in better, and hide our faces.”

“Oh, really?”

“Aye, but you won’t like it.”

“Well, whatever it is you’d better do it,” said the Doctor. “If I’m not mistaken he’s started a facial scan.”

The man in black was going methodically over the sunbathers, dark glasses aiming at each of them in turn. Jamie swallowed. Only one thing for it. He hoped this worked, because this would be an extraordinarily embarrassing way to die.

He dropped his magazine to the sand, grabbed the Doctor by the shoulders, and kissed him.

The Doctor said, “mmmf! Mmjamie!” his arms flailing about – but then he understood, or perhaps he started to enjoy it. His arm looped around Jamie’s waist, drawing him closer, and Jamie deepened the kiss, slowing down, taking his time.

Shifting closer, he cupped the Doctor’s face, absently stroking his cheek. This was turning into a real kiss, with more tongue than was proper given that they were in public and this was – just a bluff. A good bluff. A very enjoyable bluff. Jamie made a mental note to use this plan again some time.

Sighing, the Doctor drew away and resting his forehead against Jamie’s. “It’s gone.”

“Eh?” Jamie looked. The man in black had disappeared. “Oh!”

“That was, ah, good thinking.” The Doctor patted his shoulder. “Well done.”

“Aye, any time.” Jamie wiped his mouth and sat back on his jacket. He lifted the magazine and flicked through the pages. Beside him, the Doctor tugged on his trouser legs, wiggling his toes in the sand.

“That was rather nice,” he said at length.

“Oh, aye?” said Jamie.

“Perhaps we could do that again some time,” said the Doctor.

“Next time we have to blend in, mibbe,” said Jamie.

“Oh, yes,” said the Doctor. “Or, or before that. Maybe.”

Jamie looked up, caught his eye. “Aye, well, we’ll see,” he said, and shot the Doctor a coy grin.


	70. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of us. (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [uighean](http://uighean.tumblr.com/).

“I’m proud of you.”

“Stop it.” 

“I’m proud of us.”

“You’ll no’ get out of it that easy!” Jamie shot over his shoulder.

The Doctor’s arms snaked about his waist. “Now, really.” He nuzzled at Jamie’s neck. “It was rather fun, I thought.”

“We almost died!” 

“Well, well yes. But in a fun way.” He pressed a kiss to Jamie’s ear. “And did I tell you, you looked _ever_ so dashing.”

“Really?” Jamie’s resolve faltered. “Dashing, eh?”

“Oh, oh yes.” The Doctor rested his head on Jamie’s shoulder. “Like a big strong warrior.”

“Well, of course I did. Keep goin’.”


	71. Why are we at a strip club? (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“Doctor,” said Jamie, tugging anxiously on his sleeve. “Doctor, why are we at a strip club?”

“Hmm?” The Doctor looked around the bar, crammed with people, his eyebrows climbing slowly up and up his face. “Oh, is this a strip club?”

“Well – I _think_ so.” Twentieth-century slang wasn’t Jamie’s strong point, but he was reasonably confident. “Doctor, I reckon mibbe we should leave.”

“But it’s cold outside.” At last, the Doctor got the barman’s attention. “Excuse me, do you serve tea? You do? Splendid.”

“Doctor, that lassie over there’s got her you-know-whats out,” Jamie hissed in the Doctor’s ear.

“If they’re bothering you don’t look at them,” said the Doctor.

“They’re really eye-catching!”

“Look at me instead.”

“Doctor –”

“ _Jamie_.” The Doctor dragged him onto a bar stool. “Sit down, drink your tea, and don’t look at the naked people.”


	72. I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [uighean](http://uighean.tumblr.com)

“I’m so _stupid_ – falling in love with my best friend.”

“Oh,” said the Doctor softly. “Are we – best friends?”

Jamie couldn’t help but laugh. “Och, _that’s_ what you – of course we are.”

“Goodness,” said the Doctor. “I haven’t had a best friend in such a long time.”

Jamie laughed still harder. Giddily, he rested his forehead against the Doctor’s, closed his eyes. This – didn’t feel how he’d though it would. This wasn’t so bad.

“Jamie.” The Doctor’s plaintive fingers brushed his face. “You’re really in love with me?”

“I really am.” The words didn’t feel heavy.

“I’m, I’m very flattered.” He sounded dazed.

Jamie opened his eyes. “Thank you.”

“And I don’t think it’s stupid – I, I think it’s rather wonderful.”

“Aye,” Jamie agreed. “Aye, it is.”


	73. Hey have you seen my- Oh (Two+Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“Jamie, have you seen my – oh.”

Jamie lay slumped back in his chair, the book he’d been diligently reading open upon his chest, fast asleep.

They had an awful lot of old journals to get through, and he really _did_ want his recorder – but looking at Jamie, so peaceful despite the dire circumstances, the Doctor’s hearts melted.

Easing the book from Jamie’s slack grip, he set it upon the table. He fetched a cushion, and, ever so carefully, tucked it under Jamie’s head. “I’ll look for it myself.”

“Hmm?” Jamie breathed.

Gently, the Doctor tousled his hair. “Sleep tight, Jamie.”


	74. Wait, you’re my soulmate? (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [uighean](http://uighean.tumblr.com).
> 
> Soulmate colour AU: everyone sees in black and white till they meet their soulmate.

The stranger’s eyes were blue. That was the first thing Jamie noticed, his hand trembling on the hilt of his dirk. His eyes were blue and all around him the world was lighting up, red and green and yellow. In Jamie’s chest his heart went _thud_.

The moment ended and the stranger looked away and it hit Jamie with full force what had happened. _Wait. **This** is my soulmate?_ A damn Sassenach – a funny looking old Englishman. It couldn’t be. But there it was, in fully colour.

And he knew one thing – this was something he’d take to his grave.


	75. Whatever it is I didn’t do it (Two, Jamie, Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“James Robert Maccrimmon!”

“Whatever it is I didn't do it.”

“I never said you did something.” The Doctor eyed him suspiciously.

“Aye, but you called me James Robert. You only do that when you think I've done something – and I havenae.”

“Oh, really?” said the Doctor. “So it wasn't you who got _toast crumbs_ in the helmic stabiliser?”

“It was Zoe,” said Jamie.

“It wasn't!” said Zoe from the other side of the console.

Jamie looked at her. He looked at the Doctor. He said, “Zoe's been playing with the TARDIS controls again.”

“I have _not_!”

“Aye, caught her at it yesterday.” Jamie nodded earnestly.

“What?” Coat flapping, the Doctor ran to the console. “What've you been playing with?”

“I wasn't _playing_ ,” Zoe protested. “I was – experimenting.”

“Experimenting?” echoed the Doctor. “Of all the cheek – oh no you don't!” He pointed an accusing finger at Jamie, already edging towards the door. “Don't think you'll get off the hook that easily!”

Jamie grinned sheepishly – and bolted.


	76. I didn’t know you could do that (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“I didn’t know you could do that,” said Jamie, breathless.

“Eh?” said the Doctor. “What, kissing?”

He sounded so incredulous and Jamie was acutely aware that he should stop talking, but – “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“ _Excuse_ me?”

“No, I – I didn’t mean it like that,” said Jamie. “I just meant – ach, I –” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry. It was nice. Erm. Thank you.”

“Well, thank you very much too,” said the Doctor. “ _Didn’t have it in me_. Honestly.” His hand, which had been curled affectionately around the back of Jamie’s neck, withdrew. Jamie caught it, held it in place.”

“That came out really badly. Can I – can we try again?”

“Hm?” said the Doctor. Softly, Jamie kissed him. “Oh!”

“That,” said Jamie. Can we try that again?”

“Good gracious, yes,” said the Doctor.


	77. Don't tempt me (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“Of all the cheek,” said the Doctor. “You’re not too old for a smacked bottom, you know.”

“Oh, aye?” Jamie shot him a sly grin. “Thinking of putting me over your knee, eh?”

“Don’t tempt me.” The Doctor busied himself with the controls. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” said Jamie. “But you know how I am – sometimes I cannae help myself. You might have to teach me a lesson.”

“Please don’t,” said Zoe from across the console.

“Anyone would think you wanted me too,” said the Doctor.

“I’m right here.”

“Och, I’m just saying.” Jamie held up his hands. “Wouldnae say no to a bit of that”

“ _Please_ stop talking.”

The Doctor looked at Jamie as if only just now processing what he was saying. “Maybe later,” he said, and patted Jamie's bottom.

“Should I leave you two alone?” said Zoe.

The two of them looked at her as if they’d forgotten she was in the TARDIS. Jamie glanced at the Doctor, and said, “well, now that you mention it –”

“I really am very busy,” said the Doctor. “Do be quiet, Jamie.” Softly, he added, “hmm. Later.”

Jamie nudged him, and winked.


	78. What can cause such explosions? (Two, Jamie, Zoe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](human-nxture.tumblr.com).

“But what causes the explosions?” said the Zoe.

On the hillside, there was a loud _pop_ and a gout of flame that send pebbls and clods of earth raining down around them. Stooping, Jamie picked up a hunk of rock.

“It’s, ah, very simple,” said the Doctor. “You see, there’s pockets of volatile gas under the ground, and –”

_Whoomph_. Another patch of earth went up.

“The slightest disturbance, and off it goes!”

Jamie looked thoughtfully at his rock.

“Is it safe?” said Zoe.

“Oh, safe enough down here, I should think,” said the Doctor. “Fascinating, isn’t it? They call them the Exploding Hills of Taurus Seven.”

Jamie nudged her. “Watch this,” he said, and lobbed his rock at the hill.

_Bang_. Dust rained down on them, setting the Doctor coughing as Jamie laughed, clapping his hands together in satisfaction.

“Jamie!” the Doctor cried. “That could have been –”

“Watch _this_ ,” said Zoe, and threw a rock of her own. _Bang_.

“Zoe!” the Dctor said. “Really, I’d expected better – now, now Jamie, don’t you dare throw that –”

Jamie shot him a grin, and threw the rock. _Bam_.

“Oh, oh really – and you stop giggling!” the Doctor said to Zoe. Snatching a handkerchief from his pocket, he brushed dust from his grubby coat. “You – you beastly pair, you!”


	79. Maybe I could just change my name (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](keatulie.tumblr.com).

“Maybe I could just change my name.”

“Oh, aye? To what?” said Jamie. They were ambling along the road outside the governor’s office, aimless and empty-handed.

“I don’t know,” said the Doctor. “Something that won’t upset irritating bureaucrats.”

“Good luck with that, then,” said Jamie. “Ach. What would you change it too?”

“Well, well I’d still have to be Doctor.”

“Of course,” said Jamie. They stepped onto a graceful bridge.

“And, hm. I’d have to pick something that sums up my personality.” The Doctor hummed to himself. “Something mysterious.” At the summit of the bridge, he stopped, leaning on the stone wall and gazing over the water.

“Mysterious?” Jamie echoed.

“Yes, hm, something that has a sense of mystery.” The Doctor drummed his fingers on the stone in thought. “Ooh!”

“You think of something?”

“Now, what do you think of this,” said the Doctor. “Doctor… Who!”

“Eh?”

“Doctor Who,” said the Doctor. “Oh, yes, I like the sound of that”

“Are you joking?”

The Doctor’s face crumpled. “No-o. Don’t you like it?”

“It’s daft.”

“It isn’t.”

“It sounds daft.”

“It doesn’t – does it?” said the Doctor. Slowly, Jamie nodded. “Oh. I thought it was rather good. Well, back to the drawing board, I suppose.” 

Shuffling closer, Jamie nudged him. “You could always be Doctor Maccrimmon.”

“Hm? Oh, really?” The Doctor shot him a grin. “Was that a proposal, then?”

“Aye, don’t push your luck,” Jamie said.


	80. I have the best idea (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

“I have the _best_ idea!” said Jamie.

“Oh, oh dear.” The Doctor backed away. “I’ll make myself scarce, shall I?” 

“Hey, now.” Laughing, Jamie caught him by the arm. “No’ all my ideas are like that .”

“Oh, alright.” The Doctor let out a sigh of mock resignation. “What’s this idea, then?”

“You, me.” Jamie pointed. “Matching tattoos.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Och, come on! There’s a place back there that does them for cheap.”

“But _why_?”

“Eh?” said Jamie. “So everyone can see what good friends we are.”

“Oh, really,” said the Doctor. “We hardly need tattoos for that.”

“You’re no fun.”


	81. It’s tiny, isn’t it? (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/).

“It’s tiny, isn’t it?” marvelled Jamie.

“Would you like to hold him?” The Doctor proffered his wiggling bundle.

“Erm,” said Jamie. “How do I –”

“Oh, don’t worry,” said the Doctor. “u’Lanthi infants are much more durable than human babies. Just be gentle. Here.” He put the baby in Jamie’s hands.

The baby was about the size of Jamie’s two fists, soft all over, a mass of pliant tendrils that tentatively reached for him, feeling the skin of his hands and arms. As he watched, its skin shifted from indigo to vibrant purple.

“Ooh, that’s a happy colour,” said the Doctor. “Jamie, I think he likes you.”

“Really?” Two or three tendrils opened tiny mouths, sucking at his fingers. “Hey,” said Jamie, laughing despite himself. “Hey, now. Careful.” The baby shimmered and let out a cooing sound, more like music than speech. “What does that mean? Is that good?”

“He’s just babbling.” Gently, the Doctor rested a hand on the baby’s back, beaming as it reached for him. “He’s not old enough to talk yet. Their language is, ah – well, it would sound very strange to you, but they’re excellent mimics. He’ll learn English, in time. At least I, I hope he will.”

“That’s good,” said Jamie as his new baby coiled tendrils around his wrist. Half an hour ago he’d been asleep in bed, and how here he was, worrying about whether or not his son would be able to speak a language he’d understand.

“It is alright, isn’t it?” said the Doctor. “I didn’t mean to, well, spring this on you, but things happened so quickly –”

“No, it’s – I love him,” said Jamie. “I love _you_.” Leaning forward, he kissed the corner of the Doctor’s mouth. “Thank you.”

“Oh!” The Doctor blushed, and at the look on his face Jamie laughed.

“Och, what’re we gonnae call him?” he said. “I mean – does he have a name already?”

“Ah, yes,” said the Doctor, rubbing his ear awkward. “His name’s gl’Unlo’hjkl’am’l’go’luna.”

“Oh,” said Jamie. “That’s, erm. Nice.”

“You can’t pronounce it, can you?” said the Doctor.

“Couldn’t even try,” Jamie confessed.

“Well, we can give him our own name,” said the Doctor.

“Aye, but I don’t want to take his name away,” said Jamie. “His make sure you tell him his name’s, erm, gl –”

“gl’Unlo’hjkl’am’l’go’luna,” the Doctor supplied.

“Aye, that – he can have two names, eh?”

“Of course,” said the Doctor. “What do you want to call him?”

“Who, me?” said Jamie. “Och, I’m no good at naming things.”

“I want you to name him,” said the Doctor.

“I don’t know where to start,” said Jamie. Naming a human baby would have been hard enough – trying to find a name to suit this wee beastie – well, it wasn’t fair to do it any differently, he supposed. “David.”

“David?” the Doctor repeated.

“Aye, wee Davie,” said Jamie. “That’s what I was always gonnae call a boy. Is that alright?”

“It’s perfectly,” said the Doctor. “Our wee Davie. Yes. How do you like that, hmm?” he said, letting Davie mouth at his fingers. “Oh, yes, that’s a happy purple.”


	82. I love your left eye (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com).

“I love your left eye.” The Doctor kissed Jamie’s eyelid.

“Hm?” 

“And, I love your right eye.” A kiss. “And, oh, I love your nose.” He kissed it.

Jamie laughed, his nose scrunching up. “Oh, aye. Do you love my ears too?”

“Oh, yes.” The Doctor kissed one, burrowing into Jamie’s hair. “Mm. Yes.” His tongue dipped inside, making Jamie squirm.

“Funny wee man,” he said. “C’mere and kiss me proper.”

“Mmm.” Jamie’s hand touched his neck, coaxing him, kissing him deeply, sweetly. Drawing back the Doctor murmured, “I love your mouth.”

“Kiss me again,” said Jamie – and he did.


	83. Stop Giggling (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“Stop giggling!” Jamie hissed.

“I, I’m trying.” The Doctor dissolved into barely-muffled chortles.

Rolling his eyes, Jamie pressed a hand to the Doctor’s mouth. Outside, booted feet creaked on the floorboards.

The Doctor had been in a giggly mood all day. Jamie _had_ hoped he’d sober up once the inevitable mortal peril got going.

There he stood, squeezed into a cupboard barely big enough for one man, their bodies pressed tight together, acutely aware of the Doctor’s breath tickling his palm.

The footsteps halted – and began, blessed mercy of mercies, to retreat. Jamie made the mistake of meeting the Doctor’s gaze. His eyes were sparkling, and he was off again.

“Oh dear,” he said once they were alone. “Oh, oh dear.”

“What’s so funny?” Jamie’s hand drifted from the Doctor’s mouth to his cheek.

“It’s, hm, hard to explain.” The Doctor glanced at the ceiling. “Cosy nook this, isn’t it?”


	84. What’s making that sound? (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For ettelwenailinon.

“What’s making that sound?” said Jamie.

“Hm?” The Doctor didn’t look up from the TARDIS console. “What sound?”

A loud _peeep_ echoed around the room. “ _That_ sound.” Jamie nudged the Doctor. “Hey. What _is_ that?”

_Peeeep_. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“That wee beeping sound!” Jamie said. “There it goes again! Do you no’ hear it?”

“Hmm.” The Doctor looked up from his work, passing his screwdriver from hand to hand. “Do you mean the, ah, the temporal breach detector connection alert?”

“Aye! Maybe – I don’t know,” Jamie admitted. _Peep_. “That sound!”

“Ah, yes,” said the Doctor. “That’s the temporal breach dectector connection alert.” Without another word, he went back to tinkering with the console.

“Is it bad?” said Jamie. “Is there a temporal breach?”

“No, no,” said the Doctor absently. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Then why’s it making that noise?”

“That’s the connection alert,” said the Doctor. “It means the power supply was interrupted – we hit a patch of vortex turbulence, must have, hm, broken some wires.” He sidled away, moving to another section of console.

“So it’s no’ working?” Jamie circled after him.

“It’s working perfectly.” The Doctor gestured with the screwdriver as he explained. “You see, the, ah, temporal breach detector has an independent power supply – so that we’ll still have warning of temporal breaches if the main power supply is effected, you understand.”

“Sort of,” said Jamie.

“Well, well so long as the main power supply is uninterrupted, we’ve nothing to worry about,” said the Doctor. “And between you and me, if anything goes wrong with the main power supply we’ll have much bigger problems than the temporal breach detector.” He busied himself with the controls.

“Oh, that’s alright, then.” Jamie crossed his arms.

_Peeep._

“Doctor,” said Jamie slowly. “Why didn’t ye just tell me that in the first place?”

“Eh?”

“Why were you being so cagey?”

“Ah,” said the Doctor. “Well, well there is one small problem.”

“Oh?”

“Without the right replacement parts, I can’t fix the connection,” said the Doctor. “And if I can’t fix the connection, well, I can’t make it stop.”

“Can’t make what stop?”

“The beeping.”

“The beeping?”

“Yes, the beeping. I can’t make it stop.”

“Well,” said Jamie, “how long will it be before you can fix it?”

The Doctor puffed out his cheeks. “Difficult to say,” he said. “We’ll just have to learn to live with it.” Patting Jamie’s arm, he hastened away.

“What?” said Jamie. “But you can hear it all through the TARDIS!”

“Yes, it’s very unfortunate,” said the Doctor from the other side of the console.

“I can hear it in my bedroom!”

“I’ll find you some ear plugs,” said the Doctor.


	85. One day I’ll run out of possibilities (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

_One day_ , the Doctor thought, _I’ll run out of possibilities_.

“Ach.” Jamie rubbed his bruised arm. “You could have told me ye had a plan.”

“Well, I could hardly give the game away, could I?” Shooting him a grin, the Doctor drew the TARDIS key from his pocket.

_Must stop making it up as I go along…_

“Aye, well,” Jamie grinned back. “I should have trusted you.”

“Simple, really.” The Doctor unlocked the TARDIS door. “Just a matter of, ah, recalibrating the tractor beam – straight to our front door!”

_I can only get lucky so many times._

“I’ll be glad to see the back of this place,” said Jamie, rocking on his heels.

_If I’m not careful –_

The Doctor looked at him, an alien sunset at his back, his hair dancing in the breeze, so young, so very alive. “Yes,” he said. “Couldn’t agree more.”

_– Someone’s going to get hurt._


	86. No, you don’t deserve ice cream! (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com/).

“No,” said Jamie.

“But –”

“You don’t _deserve_ ice cream.”

“Just one bite.” The Doctor reached for the spoon.

Jamie stuck it in his mouth. “You’re a bad man,” he said around the spoon.

“I, I _said_ I was sorry!”

“You’re a bad man and I’ll forgive you when I’m ready.”

“I bought you ice cream, didn’t I?” Privately, the Doctor reflected that he wouldn’t have got Jamie the ice cream if he’d known he wouldn’t get to eat any.

“You almost got me eaten by a plant!”

“Well –”

“A plant with _teeth_!”

“Well, well perhaps I let my scientific curiosity get the better of me.” said the Doctor meekly. “But no harm done, eh?”

“Yet said that already. It didn’t work the first time either.” Jamie sucked his spoon clean. “Mm. It’s delicious.”

The Doctor pouted.

“And stop making that face!” Jamie rolled his eyes. “Silly wee chappie.”


	87. I can save you / No, you can't (Two + Jamie + Victoria)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](human-nxture.tumblr.com).

“I can save you!” said the Doctor.

“No, you can’t,” said Jamie grimly.

“But –” Somewhere aboard the ship, a timer was counting down.

“Doctor, there’s no time,” said Victoria. “You have to save the city – _please_ Doctor.”

“I won’t leave you.”

Jamie pressed his hand to the force wall that separated them, the fine, barely-there barrier of energy. “Doctor, you have to go _now_.”

He wanted to badly to argue, but he’d already done the calculations. The controls, at the far end of the station – if he ran he might make it in time to stop the count down – but by then it would be too late for Jamie and Victoria, trapped in the path of the quantum reactor leak.

If he stayed, if he wasted long, precious minutes freeing them, it would be too late for everyone on the moon down below. He’d wasted too much time already.

The Doctor touched the force wall, touched his hand to Jamie’s. He felt nothing but a cold buzz.

“I’ll, I’ll come back for you,” he stammered.

Jamie’s eyes looked into his, resigned.

“Good luck, Doctor,” said Victoria.

Summoning all his courage, the Doctor turned his back on them and ran.


	88. At least breathe in between bites! (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“At least breathe in between bites!”

Jamie swallowed and, self-consciously, wiped his mouth. “Sorry.”

“Good gracious.” The Doctor handed him a napkin. “You’ll make yourself sick at that rate.”

“Hey, I haven’t eaten all day!” Jamie protested. “I’m no’ used to this much food.” He looked at the glistening leisure lounge buffet table, as awed as if it were one of the seven thousand wonders of the universe. 

“They’re hardly going to run out.” Eying Jamie’s groaning plate, he said, “and shouldn’t you leave room for dessert?”

Jamie’s head whipped around to face him, eyes going very big. “There’s dessert?”


	89. Ow, you shot me in the face! (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com/).

“What are these?” Rooting through a drawer, Jamie brought out a greyish, rubbery handful.

“Ah, elastic bands.” The Doctor glanced in his direction. “Should be in there somewhere. Silvery cube, about yea big.”

“Aye, I’m looking.” Curiously, Jamie tugged on the bands. “These are really stretchy.”

“Yes, that’s what they’re for.” 

“What? Stretching?” Separating one from the bundle, Jamie stretched it between his hands, pulling it bigger and bigger.

_Ping_. It vanished. “Eh?”

“Ow!” cried the Doctor. “You shot me in the face!”

“What?” The Doctor was touching a red mark on his cheek. “I’m sorry!” He rushed to the Doctor’s side. “I didn’t mean to – it just went on its own –”

“That hurt!” said the Doctor, indignant.

“I’m sorry!” Jamie touched the Doctor’s face. “Did I really hurt you? I didn’t – hey, now, stop giggling!”

The Doctor had begun to chuckle. “Oh, goodness,” he said. “Oh, my.”

“I didn’t know they were dangerous.” Jamie snatched his hand away.

“They aren’t, usually,” said the Doctor. “Please be more careful with the, ah, office supplies. Cube.”

“Eh?”

“In the drawer.”

“Oh!” Jamie hastened across to the desk. “Erm.” He eyed the pile of elastic bands nervously. “What _are_ they for?”


	90. 'I'm in your mind...' / 'Great. Just what I needed, more useless crap in there.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

_Jamie, I’m in your mind._

“Eh?” Jamie was so startled, he almost blundered into a wall. Skidding to a halt, he stood reeling. It wasn’t his imagination. He could _feel_ the Doctor in there, an alien presence between his ears, at the back of his skull. Alien, but familiar and oddly comforting.

Comforting, but definitely not comfortable. “Och, great,” he said aloud. “Just what I need, more nonsense in there.”

_Really, Jamie_ , the Doctor admonished. _That’s not very nice. Take it from me, you have a very no-nonsense mind._

“Really?”

Somewhere nearby, there was a metallic howl and abruptly he remembered why he’d been running. He took off again.

_Good gracious_ , said the Doctor. _Are we being chased?_

“Of course we are!” said Jamie. “We always are. How’d you get in there, anyway? And why? And – _how?”_

_Well, ah_ , said the Doctor. _You see, my people are naturally somewhat telepathic, and the rarefied psychic atmosphere on Pnobos combined with our existing, well, connection –_

“Never mind, I’ll no’ understand it.” Jamie barrelled round a corner, weaving through the labyrinthine structure of the temple. He wasn’t thinking in terms of getting out so much as getting himself more lost. He’d deal with the consequences later. “Why?”

_I needed to get inside the temple_ , said the Doctor. _Now Jamie, I need you to do something for me._

“Oh, aye? And what’s that?”

_Well, strictly speaking you don’t have to do anything_ , said the Doctor. _I need to get to the centre of the pyramid –_

“Och, back past that metal beastie? No fear.”

_I know a shortcut_ , the Doctor said. _But it’ll take a little, ah, hm, technical know-how._

Jamie slowed to a stop. “I’m no’ good at that sort of thing.”

_I’m very much aware of that_ , said the Doctor. _And what with the delicate balance of Pnobian technology being what it is – I thought perhaps, well – well Jamie, do you trust me?_

“Of course I trust you,” said Jamie. “Why?”

_Do you trust me enough to let me take the reins?_

“How’d you mean?”

Understanding dawned – not his own, but the Doctor’s. A difficult concept to put into words, transmitted without any words at all. In the blink of an eye he understood just exactly what the Doctor wanted to do, with him.

“Oh,” he said. “That’s – a lot.” 

There was trust, and then there was trust enough to put his life in the Doctor’s hands in the most terrifyingly literal sense. The thought of it made his stomach churn with fear – and curiously, an edge of excitement.

_You don’t have to let me._

“Can you really do that?” said Jamie, knowing full well that the Doctor could. “Just, take over?”

_Only with your permission._

“Do you mean you cannae do it if I won’t let you, or you wouldnae?”

_Both, of course!_ Another roar, some way behind them. _Ah, Jamie, if you’re going to make up your mind I’d suggest you do it quickly._

Right. Bloody, imminent death. He’d all but forgotten. “Do it.”

_Are you sure?_

“No’ at all.” There was no point in lying, their current situation being what it was. “So you better do it and do it quick.”

_Jamie –_

“I trust you.” He swallowed, his throat tight, acutely aware of how frightened he was and acutely aware that the Doctor knew. “What do I do?”

_Try to relax_ , said the Doctor. _Close your eyes. Don’t fight._

Dutifully, he closed his eyes. At first, there was nothing – the darkness, the dank, old smell of the temple, his own rapid breathing.

He could feel the Doctor – feel him shifting, concentrating, moving his metaphorical weight around. Then –

A sensation like being punched in the gut, all the air knocked out of him. Icy cold, and he stumbled, his legs going shaky. His ears were ringing, his vision blurring, and his limbs were heavy, so heavy he should have fallen, but he stood upright as a statue.

His senses returned to normal and it was over. In the span of two or three breaths, it was done. His body felt heavy. His breathing was very loud in his ears. He tried to move, to turn his head, but his muscles didn’t respond. Terror flooded him, but his heartbeat kept dropping, his breaths didn’t quicken.

His hand moved, on its own, rising up as if it had been trapped by his side. “My goodness,” he heard his own voice say. “It’s, it’s alright, Jamie. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

_I feel like I’m dreaming._

His hand pressed to his chest. “I know what you mean.”

There was some small comfort in knowing that the Doctor was as out of his element as Jamie was – that this was new and frightening for both of them.

“Are you alright?”

_I don’t know._

“I’ll, I’ll take good care of you. I promise.”

_Doctor –_

Horribly nearby, a low rumbling.

_Doctor, I think we’d better run._

“Oh, dear,” said the Doctor through Jamie’s lips, finding his feet, stumbling forward. “I think we’d better had.”


	91. Let's talk dirty to each other (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com) and the prompt:
> 
> _'Let's talk dirty to each other.'_   
>  _'Babe, we're at work. Remember? Professional. Behavior. Please.'_

“Let’s talk dirty to each other.” A low rumble in his ear. The Doctor’s hand, all too abruptly on the small of his back.

Jamie started, almost going straight over the delicate glass handrail in the fish pond down in the atrium. “Doctor! What’re you playing at?”

“Oh, oh nothing.” The Doctor ceased his chuckling and took on a look of doe-eyed innocence. “It’s just, you look ever so handsome in that get-up.”

“Eh?”

“I was just thinking, I’d rather like to rip it off you,” the Doctor said, fingering the soft cloth of Jamie’s lapel.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Jamie batted him away. “First off, you know damn well I’m only wearing this because I’m supposed to be your aide – as if I’d ever wear – ach. And I don’t even know what an aide’s supposed to do and I’ve been trying _really_ hard to act professional, like ye said, so could you at least try to do the same? Please?”

“I’ve been professional all morning, _and_ most of this afternoon!” protested the Doctor. “Don’t you think I deserve a little treat? Hm?” His fingers traced the line of Jamie’s jaw.

“Doctor.” Jamie leaned heavily on the handrail. “People are looking.”

They were on the upper level of the atrium, milling with smartly dressed people and made almost entirely of sparkling glass. Eyes to see them in almost every direction.

“Let them look.”

“ _Doctor_.” Gently, Jamie nudged his hand away. “Do ambassadors normally go about kissing their aides?”

“I, ah.” The Doctor dropped his hand. “Not in public. No.”

“There, so –”

“So we’ll just have to find somewhere private.” The Doctor patted Jamie’s hand, and smiled.

“Aye, that – no! Erm. Mibbe?”

“There happens to be a very nice meditation room on floor two hundred,” said the Doctor. “And _I_ happen to have executive access. Eh?” He waggled his eyebrows in a manner that was probably supposed to be suggestive. Jamie hated that it was working.

“I don’t know what most of those words mean.” He jabbed a finger at the Doctor. “And _you_ have another meeting at, erm, four o’clock. Which I _think_ is soon.” He glanced at the walls in search of a clock. “What time is it?”

“Half past three,” said the Doctor. “We’ve got time, if we hurry.” Squeezing Jamie’s hand, he towed him towards the lift. “Come along, then!”


	92. Are you crying? (Take 2) (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow up to [this drabble](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6317737/chapters/21670493) for [ettelwenailinon](ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com).

“Are you crying?” said Jamie. “Why’re you – hey now. Don’t cry.” He brought up his hand, meaning to wipe away a tear from the Doctor’s cheek, but in the orange glow of the lamps he saw for the first time the red stains on his palm, the red-brown caked into the lines of his hand. “What –”

His eyes went big, and lost. Looking down at himself, he saw his clothes drenched, stiff. “Why’s there – blood.”

Finding his tongue, the Doctor said, “it isn’t – it isn’t yours.”

“What’s been going on?”

“You don’t remember.” It wasn’t a question, really. He’d known Jamie didn’t remember a thing the moment he’d looked into the boy’s eyes.

“I remember we were underground,” said Jamie. “We were in this big room. There were people with us – all these people.”

“They’re dead,” said the Doctor, and Jamie looked up sharply into his eyes. “It wasn’t you. Jamie. It wasn’t you. It – it had your face, but it wasn’t you.”

“What happened?”

“It’s alright.” The Doctor touched Jamie’s shoulder, squeezing, rumpling the stained cloth of his shirt. “Jamie, I – I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop it.”

Jamie’s gaze dropped, taking it all in, his own state, the Doctor’s blood-flecked clothes and shaking hands. “Zoe.”

“She’s safe,” said the doctor. Jamie’s shoulders shook with relief and at the look on his face the Doctor could do nothing but embrace him.

He wrapped his arms around Jamie, pulling him close, and for a moment Jamie struggled, trying to twist away. “Hush,” said the Doctor. “It’s alright, Jamie. You’re safe now. I brought you back.”

Leaning in the Doctor’s embrace, Jamie said, “where did I go?”


	93. Fairy Tale (Ben/Polly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com/).

“Look.” Polly adjusted the fit of her flowing gown. “So long as we’re here we have to play by their rules.”

“That so?” Ben resisted the urge to tug on his tights. “Are you wearing a crown?”

Polly touched her glittery tiara. “Yes, I rather like it,” she said. “So now, you’ve rescued me from my tower and you’ve got to follow through or they’ll get angry and when they get angry they get mean. This morning they made me sing for them – it doesn’t matter. The point is, as far as the game is concerned I’m the princess and you’re the handsome prince and there are rules.”

“Handsome, eh?” said Ben. “Wait. What are the rules?”

“Fiendishly complicated,” said Polly. “But my point is, you’ve rescued me and now you have to kiss me.”

Outside, a bird began to sing a sweetly romantic tune. Ben said, “oh, bloomin’ ‘eck.”


	94. Seeing Red (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“Let me do the talking,” the Doctor whispered as they were ushered into the hall. “I know what you’re like.”

“What I’m –” There wasn’t time to finish. He shut his mouth and stood chest heaving, staring at the figure before him. With all his might he tried to look braver than he felt.

With a creak of leather armour, the Warrior Lord stood up. “What do you mean by coming here?” he said in a voice like liquid silk.

“I only want to talk,” said the Doctor.

“Talk?” the Warrior Lord echoed.

“Ye-yes,” the Doctor stammered. “After all, we’re both reasonable men, aren’t we?”

“I, perhaps,” said the Warrior Lord. “I don’t know what _you_ are, little man.”

“I’m the Doctor.” The Doctor flashed him a grin. “I, ah, didn’t catch your name?”

“I have no name,” said the Warrior Lord. “You will call me, _my lord_.”

“Aye, and I’m Jamie,” Jamie piped up. “Now we’re all introduced.”

He hadn’t been trying to get a reaction so much as lighten the mood but still the Warrior Lord wheeled on him. “Do you think this is funny, boy?”

“No,” said Jamie. “Well, maybe a bit.”

“Jamie,” warned the Doctor.

“Do you think me a figure of fun?” said the Warrior Lord.

“No,” said Jamie. “I think you’re a jumped-up thug who’s killing women and bairns –”

The Warrior Lord backhanded him around the face, the force of the blow enough to knock all the breath out of him. He staggered, his face burning, and through the sudden ringing in his ears he heard a shout.

“Don’t you touch him!” The Doctor, staining in the grip of the men who held him. The Warrior Lord’s fiery gaze turned on him but he didn’t flinch. “You try that again and I’ll see you regret it!”

“Oh, will you?” the Warrior Lord’s eyes swept up and down the Doctor’s short frame. “Little man?”

“I’ll think of something,” the Doctor said. “And believe me, it’ll hurt.”

Working his aching jaw, for the first time Jamie saw in the Warrior Lord’s eyes a flicker of doubt.


	95. Dreams (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com).

“I dreamed of you so many times, this past year.” Jamie’s hand drifted from the Doctor’s shoulder to his chest, touching him as if he could scarcely believe he was really there.

“Not – not bad dreams, I hope?” said the Doctor. They stood atop the ridge, not far from the TARDIS. It would be dawn soon. The wind picked gently at his hair.

Jamie’s eyes met his. “No. No’ bad dreams.” His hand ran along the Doctor’s arm to his wrist. “Never understood why I kept seeing you. I didnae know I was missing you.”

“I missed you,” said the Doctor. More than he could put into words. He didn’t dare tell Jamie of it all, the years that had passed, the things he’d done.

“It’s been longer for you?” said Jamie.

“I – yes,” the Doctor confessed. “Yes, it has.”

Suddenly Jamie was there, touching his face, drawing him close. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

“I will,” said the Doctor, knowing the truth of those words only as he spoke them. “I promise. Just – not yet.”

“Aye,” Jamie agreed. “We’ve got time.”


	96. Expectations (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).
> 
> Follow up to [At First Sight](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8157965) and [Trick Or Treat](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6317737/chapters/19155814).

“Now, what do you think of this?” said the Doctor, popping up at Jamie’s elbow.

“Erm.” Jamie tore his eyes away from the teddy bears and looked at the brightly-coloured box the Doctor was proffering. “What is it?”

“It’s a chemistry set!” said the Doctor.

“Oh, aye.” Jamie took the box and looked it over. “I think she might be a wee bit young for this.”

“Well, well maybe a little,” said the Doctor. “She’ll grow into it!”

“She’s no’ even one yet,” said Jamie.

“So?” said the Doctor.

Jamie showed him the back of the box. “It says ten and up.”

“That means months,” the Doctor informed him, so confidently that Jamie actually doubted himself.

“No – no, I really think it means years.”

The Doctor snatched the chemistry set back and scowled at it. “That can’t be right. Really. Ten and up. What nonsense.”

“She’s a wee baby, Doctor,” said Jamie. “She’s no’ gonnae be old enough for science and things for a good few years.”

“How many years?” said the Doctor.

“Och, I don’t know,” said Jamie. “At least five or six.”

The Doctor’s expression grew still more troubled.

“How’s about you put that back and we look for something a wee bit more, erm,” Jamie picked up a teddy, “cuddly?”

“Yes – yes, alright,” the Doctor said vaguely, and he wandered it off.

Jamie had it narrowed down to an especially handsome teddy bear and a stuffed giraffe when the Doctor came back from his journey to the other side of the department store. “Is this all true?” he said, holding up a shiny book called _Baby Development: Everything you need to know_.

“Probably?” said Jamie.

The Doctor leafed through the book. “She won’t be able to make conversation until she’s _two_?”

“Aye, that sounds right.”

The Doctor shut the book with a clap. “How on earth does your species function?”

“Erm,” said Jamie. “No’ very well, I suppose.” He held up his selections. “See now, the wee giraffe is more interesting but the teddy has a tartan scarf and I like that. What do you think?”

“What does it matter?” said the Doctor. “It’s not like she’ll know the difference. Will she?”

Jamie looked at the giraffe. He looked at the teddy. With a sigh, he put them both back. “You’re probably right.” He nodded at the book. “Did you pay for that?”

“Oh, goodness!” The Doctor hurried away.

He returned some minutes later, now bearing a plush yellow… something. “What about this?” he said, presenting it to Jamie with a grin.

“What _is_ it?” Jamie turned it around till he found its friendly smiling face.

“It’s a stuffed virus,” said the Doctor.

“A what?” said Jamie.

“A virus!” said the Doctor. “A herpes virus. There was a whole basket of them over there,” he said, waving vaguely. “I, I thought we might try and get her engaging with science _some_ how.”

Well, Jamie supposed, it was cuddly – and he was very tired of shopping, and he was starting to get a headache. “Aye, it’s great,” he said. “We’ll get this one. I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“Oh, splendid!” said the Doctor. “Now, ah. What time are we due at the crèche?”

“Aw, hell,” said Jamie, checking his watch. “Five minutes.”

“Best hurry, then!” said the Doctor.

Some minutes later, they stood watching Tessa hug the yellow blob to her chest, babbling happy to herself. “We were supposed tae wait for Christmas,” Jamie grumbled.

“We live in a time machine,” said the Doctor, which was his answer to everything. He knelt beside Tessa’s push chair. “Now Tess, this is a herpes virus. A virus, you understand?”

“Bah,” said Tessa, and bopped him on the head with it.

Jamie chuckled. The Doctor sighed, and said, “well, it’s a start.”


	97. Childhood (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com).
> 
> Follow-up to [It's tiny, isn't it?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6317737/chapters/25967682).

“Dad,” said Davie, inching his way up the Doctor’s trouser leg. “Dad, Dad, Daddy.”

“Oh, hallo,” said the Doctor. Davie’s tendrils gripped his waist. “Oof! You’re getting heavy, aren’t you?”

“Heavy,” Davie echoed. “HeAAAvy,” he said again in his funny sing-song way of talking.

“I really am very busy,” said the Doctor. “Lots of very important repairs, you understand. Careful! Mind me back.”

“TARDIS,” said Davie, peeking over the Doctor’s shoulder.

“Yes, that’s right,” said the Doctor. “I’m repairing the temporal oscillation circuits.”

“Temporal oscillation circuits,” sang Davie. “Temporal oscillAAAAtion.”

“Yes, very good,” the Doctor laughed. “Aren’t you a clever boy? It really is, ah, quite important though – not to mention sensitive.”

“Sensitive?” Davie hummed into his ear.

“ _There_ you are.” Strong hands levered Davie off his neck. “You wee rascal. Are you bothering your daddy?”

“Not at all,” said the Doctor.

“Dad,” said Davie. “TARDIS. Oscillation temporal!”

“That so?” said Jamie. “Well, it’s time for your bath, so we’d best leave him to it.”

“Bath!” cried Davie. “No. Bath! Dad! Help!”

“Baths are very good for you,” said the Doctor. “Oh! Don’t you turn that shade of purple at me.”

“Purple,” said Davie, wriggling in Jamie’s grip. “Purple, nurple, slurp slurp. Hate baths.”

“Aye, well you’re a sticky and dirty boy,” said Jamie, hefting Davie onto his chest. “C’mon. Bath time,” he said, bearing Davie out of the control room.

“Bye Daddy bye!” Davie said, waving a tendril at him over Jamie’s shoulder. “Bubbles?”

“Aye, maybe,” said Jamie from the corridor.

“Goodness,” said the Doctor, turning back to his work. “He’s growing up fast.”


	98. Sacrifice (Two + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com).

“Jamie!” A hiss, coming out of the darkness.

“Doctor?” Jamie twisted in his bonds. “Is that you?”

“Keep your voice down, Jamie.” The Doctor emerged from the shadows of the tunnel. He was wearing, to Jamie’s puzzlement, a long cape that he had draped over one arm to save it from the wet floor. “Oh – oh, there you are.”

“Aye, here I am!” Jamie tugged at the ropes that bound him to the cave wall. “What took you so long?”

“Ah,” said the Doctor. “Well, I have good news and I have bad news, so to speak.”

“Bad news?” said Jamie. “I’m tied up in a cave and they’re gonnae sacrifice me to this, this sky beast in the morning and you’re telling me there’s more bad news?”

“Well, I suppose not,” said the Doctor. “The good news is, these people have accepted me as their new high priest.”

“Oh,” said Jamie. “So you can get me out of this?”

“That’s the bad news,” said the Doctor. Jamie slumped against the wall. “You remember how I said all this, ah, sky beast business was some dreadful superstition?”

“Aye,” said Jamie.

“You see, I was thinking that if I could just, well, convince them to hold off on the sacrifice, then they’d see it wasn’t real,” said the Doctor.

“Aye, makes sense,” said Jamie, growing more worried by the second.

“Well, as it happens, there really _is_ a sky beast,” said the Doctor. “And if it, ah, doesn’t get a sacrifice it really will rampage across the whole planet. Fascinating, isn’t it?”

“So,” said Jamie. “So, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying, well,” said the Doctor. “I didn’t really have a plan B,” he confessed in a small voice. “I was so sure this was going to work.”

Jamie considered the problem. “How big is this sky beast?” he said.

“The size of the sky, apparently,” said the Doctor. “It’s, ah, possible they’re exaggerating, but I’m, hm, not inclined to be sceptical at present.”

This was turning out to be one of those days. Those especially overwhelming days. “We could always just let it eat me,” said Jamie.

“What? No!” said the Doctor.

“Better me than someone else,” Jamie said.

“Out of the question,” said the Doctor. “Nobody’s getting eaten.”

“Och, I wasnae serious,” said Jamie. “I’m just saying, we’re no’ out of options yet. Can you untie me? My arms are starting to ache.”

“Oh!” said the Doctor. Flustered, he went to work on the knots. “Besides, I, I already thought of that,” he said. “Even if – well, it wouldn’t be a permanent solution, would it? It would come back next year and eat somebody else. There we are.”

Jamie stepped away from the wall, stretching out his arms. “I’ve a better idea.”

“I’m all ears,” said the Doctor.

“We fly up there,” Jamie jabbed a finger at the Doctor’s chest, “and we kill the sky beastie.”

“Hm,” said the Doctor. “Impractical. Risky to the point of being suicidal. Potentially impossible. Yes. I like it.” He inhaled deeply. “I suppose we’d best go and explain to my underlings that we’re going to kill god.”

“When you put it like that it sounds a wee bit, erm, crazy,” said Jamie.

The Doctor shot him a grin, and said, “aren’t all the best plans?”


	99. All That I Have (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/).

Standing before the TARDIS console, the Doctor thought _you’re all that I have_.

There was an ache, deep down in his chest, between his hearts, and he pushed it still further down. He couldn’t afford to dwell on his mistakes.

*

The Doctor stood face to face with Jamie, for the first time in years, so many years, more than he cared to count, and he wanted to say, _please, you’re all that I have_ , but he couldn’t risk that. He said, “you trusted me once before.”

Jamie said, “aye, well that was a long time ago.”

“I’m not asking much,” said the Doctor. “Just – come with me. Please?”

Something in Jamie’s expression softened.

*

“There were – others,” said Jamie, turning a slow circle in the control room. “We had friends.”

Rebuilding memories was such a slow process, so painfully slow. Human minds were fragile things. “I – yes,” said the Doctor. “Do you remember them?”

“I remember Ben and Polly.” Jamie looked at the Doctor properly. “Are we really flying?”

“Farther away than you can imagine,” said the Doctor.

“I suppose,” said Jamie. “You’re all that I have now.”

“It’ll come back to you.” The Doctor stepped towards Jamie, not daring to go any closer, not yet. “I promise.”

*

“Oh, my,” said the Doctor, backed up against the console, Jamie’s lips a hair’s breadth from his.

“I forgot,” said Jamie, his hand pressing firm into the Doctor’s hip. “I forgot about _us_.”

“I didn’t want,” said the Doctor. “To, to press you –”

“I understand,” said Jamie. “Just don’t leave me again.”

“I won’t,” said the Doctor. “You’re – you’re all that I have.”


	100. Can You Hear Me? (Two + Jamie)

“Can you hear me?” 

Which was a silly question, the Doctor thought. He had ears, didn’t he?

“Doctor, can you hear me?”

He felt as if he was floating upon a cloud, high up in the air.

“Doctor?”

A hand on his shoulder, grounding him. He felt solid rock beneath him, a pounding ache in his skull, and he said, “oof.”

He opened his eyes. Above him Jamie’s face swam, hazy, far away. He blinked. His head ached. “Jamie.”

Jamie let out a breath. “ _There_ you are.”

“Goodness,” said the Doctor. “Don’t you look fraught. What happened?”

“You hit your head,” said Jamie, his hand shifting from the Doctor’s shoulder to his chest. “You were gone a long time.”

“That can’t be good.” The Doctor tried, with some difficulty and dizziness, to sit up, Jamie’s steadying hands on him all the while.

“Here,” he said, putting a canteen to the Doctor’s lips.

The water was warm and musty, but he couldn’t recall ever being so grateful for anything. He drank, and said, “thank you.”

“You’ll be alright?” said Jamie.

“Of course,” said the Doctor, and reached for his hand. “What would I do without you.”

Jamie said, “you’ll be alright.”


	101. You're in love with her (Two/Jamie, Jamie/Victoria)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](http://thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

“You’re in love with her.”

“No!” said Jamie. “Well – yes. I –” His shoulders slumped. Around them, the TARDIS hummed gently. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no – goodness me, no, don’t apologise for, for –” the Doctor stammered. “I understand. If you want to – well, I’d understand.”

He sounded so meek, so resigned to his fate. “No, you don’t,” said Jamie. “You don’t understand. I love you too. You _know_ that. I’ve told you enough times, haven’t I?” The Doctor’s face didn’t brighten. “This doesnae have to change anything. Does it?”

“I suppose not,” said the Doctor softly.

“It’s no’ like Victoria would even have me,” said Jamie.

He’d meant it lightly, meant to bring some levity to the situation, but the Doctor’s face grew still bleaker and he babbled, “oh, no don’t say that, I’m sure she’d be delighted to have you, if – if –”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jamie protested weakly.

“She _does_ care for you, I’m sure if you only asked –”

“Hey.” Jamie put his hand over the Doctor’s mouth, silencing him. “I don’t want this to change things.”

“Jamie,” said the Doctor, muffled.

Jamie shook his head. “I don’t want anything to change. I love you and I love Victoria – I love her different than I love you, no’ better, just different, and I –” He breathed deep. “I just want tae be with you. That’s all I want.”

The Doctor’s eyes had gone soft. Awkwardly, Jamie took his hand from the Doctor’s mouth. “Sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be,” said the Doctor, reaching for him, drawing him close. “Never change, Jamie. Do you hear me? Don’t change a thing.”

“I love you,” Jamie murmurred into his ear.

The Doctor said, “I love you, too.”


	102. Why are you whispering? (Ben + Polly + Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [human-nxture](http://human-nxture.tumblr.com).

“Look, duchess,” said Ben, “if you’re too proud to just _ask_ then –”

“I am _not_ too proud!” Polly said. “I just – oh, why don’t _you_ ask him, if there’s _nothing to it_!”

“He’ll listen to you!” Ben protested. “Cause –”

“Why are you whispering?” said Jamie.

Both of them started. Polly hadn’t noticed him sneaking over, and she didn’t think Ben had either. “Eh?” said Ben.

“We’re not,” said Polly.

“Aye, you were,” said Jamie. “What’s going on? What are you whispering about?”

“Nothing!” Polly declared, at the same moment as Ben said, “football.” She glared at him.

“Well, fine,” said Jamie. “Dinnae tell me.”

“No, it’s – look, mate.” Ben clapped a hand on Jamie’s shoulder and leaned in conspiratorially. “We don’t want to go to this poncey art gallery.”

“Oh, aye?” said Jamie.

“Yeah, we reckon we’ve seen enough old things to last us a lifetime,” said Ben.

“ _Several_ lifetimes,” said Polly.

“Right, that,” said Ben. “So, what I was thinking –”

“You want to go to the theme park?” Jamie interrupted.

“Er, yeah,” said Ben. “That.”

“The one the Doctor said was childish and tacky?” said Jamie.

“Yes, that one,” said Polly. “It sounds fun.”

“It does and all,” Jamie agreed.

“So, what I was thinking,” Ben said, “is that Polly here asks him.”

“Oh, aye?” said Jamie.

“Yeah, I reckon if Polly butters him up he might change his mind,” said Ben. “Polly’s good at that.”

“He means because I’m a girl,” said Polly. “I’m not doing it.”

“Why not?” Jamie asked.

“Because it’s silly,” said Polly. “And degrading. I’m not going to go over and – and bat my eyelashes at him!”

“I said butter him up, not flirt with him,” Ben grumbled. “What do you take me for?”

“Hmm,” said Jamie, considering the problem. “I’ll ask him, if you dinnae want to.”

“ _You’ll_ ask him?” said Ben.

“Worth a try, isn’t it?” said Jamie.

“I’d say it is,” said Polly.

“Right,” said Jamie. “Here I go.” So saying, he wandered away around the console, to where the Doctor was leafing through an ancient book of paintings. He spoke softly and the Doctor answered likewise and what they said Polly couldn’t hear.

Half a minute later, he came back smiling. “Alright,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “We’re going.”

“To the theme park?” said Polly.

“Aye, that,” said Jamie.

“What?” said Ben. “How? What’d you do?”

Jamie shrugged. “I asked him,” he said.

“You –”

“I asked and he said yes,” said Jamie. “It wasnae hard.”

“ _I_ asked him,” Ben fumed. “He ranted for half an hour about capitalist dogma.”

“Ah, well,” said Jamie with a grin. “Maybe he likes me better.”


	103. People Are Staring (Two/Jamie)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [thescarletpaperback](thescarletpaperback.tumblr.com).

The streets of the city were swarming with people, most of them, like Jamie, wandering dazed and befuddled, still trying to make sense of what had happened to them. In the distance he could hear sirens and nearby an ambulance sat idly waiting. No-one was hurt; they were just, somehow, back from the dead.

“Jamie!” His name, so faintly that at first he wasn’t sure if it was in his head or outside. “Jamie?”

No, he _had_ heard it. “Doctor?” He cast about himself, but there were so many people he couldn’t –

Someone barrelled into him, all but knocking him off his feet in their eagerness. “Jamie!” said the Doctor. “Oh – oh, good gracious, I was so worried –”

“Hey, careful!” said Jamie, steadying himself on the Doctor’s shoulders.

“Are you alright?” said the Doctor, patting Jamie’s chest, his shoulders, as if checking he still had all his limbs. “You aren’t – aren’t hurt?”

“Aye, I’m just fine,” said Jamie. “What happened?”

“That’s – a very long story,” said the Doctor. “I was so afraid you’d – oh, oh come here,” he said, and taking Jamie’s face in his hands hie kissed him, kissed his mouth and his cheeks and his nose, showering him with kisses, and Jamie’s heart fluttered.

“Hey, now,” he said, laughing. “I’m alrght. Nothing to worry about.”

“Oh, my,” said the Doctor. He rested his forehead upon Jamie’s, his exuberance fading into exhausted disbelief. “Do you – do you have any idea how long you were gone?”

“A few hours?” Jamie guessed.

“Ah,” said the Doctor.

“Longer, eh?” said Jamie grimly. “I thought I was dead.”

“So did I.” Absently, the Doctor stroked his head. Jamie toyed with the front of his coat. It had felt like no time at all and liked an eternity and only seeing the Doctor again did he realised how he’d missed him.

“People are staring,” he said softly.

“Let them stare,” said the Doctor, and kissed him again.

Then with a sigh, he straightened up, adjusted his coat. “I, I think we’d better let the local authorities sort this little mess out,” he said. “We’d best be getting back to the TARDIS – Zoe’s waiting. She wants to see you.”

“Ach, I’ll wager she was glad to see the back of me,” said Jamie.

“She was not!” sputtered the Doctor.

“Aye, she was,” said Jamie. “You’ll see.”

“I’ll have you know she’s been missing you,” the Doctor said.

“She hasnae.”

“She has so!”

“Ah, she hasnae,” said Jamie with a grin. He nudged the Doctor. “I missed you.”

“You – you barely even knew you were gone,” said the Doctor.

“I still missed you,” said Jamie.

“Oh – oh,” said the Doctor. “Jamie?”

“Aye?” said Jamie.

The Doctor looked at him fondly, and said, “I’ll tell you later.”

“Oh, aye,” said Jamie, slipping his hand into the Doctor’s as they walked, idly, down the street towards home.


End file.
